Dances With Books

Thanks for ruining my goddamn day. . .again

Wed, 18 Nov 2009 21:41:10 GMT

Boss With a Fist walks into my office with another one of the BRB unfrequent user cards. I have talked about these before, but Boss With a Fist insists on taking them seriously. Like before, we got another one filled out without any specifics regarding time or date. The anonymous commenter complained about some stuff we have no control over, such as getting the copiers to accept their student ID SuperCard for payment of copies (that is the campus copy center people) and about noise in the computer lab (again, not under our direct control per se). But this time, Mr. or Ms. Anonymous wrote something about the library staff being good overall, except for the "big guy" in the first floor. The guess, of course, is that it was probably me. The catch, as usual, is that there are no specific details. I don't recall insulting anyone. I don't recall treating anyone as less than professional. So, I have to simply wonder what the fuck that patron's problem was which can go anywhere from we did not have the book he or she wanted at the time to he just got pissy after being told he cannot eat in the library. In the meantime I have to spend the rest of my afternoon wondering what the fuck it was I may or may not have done because Boss With a Fist, like most mofo bosses, decides to take the word of some anonymous patron who can barely write in a comment card (you should have seen the misspellings on the thing).

So, thank you for ruining my day. Once again, as I have said before, I can't fix it if I do not know it is broken. And like a good boss, after swooping with the "news," Boss With a Fist pooped and then left. Because Boss With a Fist "just wanted to share this" with me. Yea, sure. With all the stuff you probably should be doing, you have plenty of time to come ruin my day with something that I probably can't fix. So thank you once again for making me feel like less than shit because you got some anonymous comment card that, though by your admission looks pretty positive overall (after all, the other categories did get "good" or "excellent"), you decide to dwell on some minor detail (and a vague detail at that) and thus ruin my day in the process yet again. I have no problem if someone says "that guy, Dances With Books, treated me with no courtesy or did not get me what I needed." I can deal with that, but I can't deal with "everyone was good except the big guy" which again, can be any number of things.

Again, stop taking those generic unfrequent user cards so damn seriously.

Crossposted to library_mofo .

I guess her "cheese" got moved

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 00:33:37 GMT

This is nothing major, but it is kind of amusing to me. A nice young lady (and I do mean nice) came over to the reference desk to make sure we had a copy of Who Moved My Cheese? What she needed to do was just verify if we had it. A quick check of the library's catalog revealed that the book was checked out. I informed her of that.

And it was all I could do to keep a straight face and not add, "I guess your cheese got moved, huh?"

(Thank you. I will be here all week).

Reminder: Try not to express your opinion if you have one

Tue, 03 Nov 2009 23:12:24 GMT

"Never tell anyone outside the Family what you are thinking again." --Don Corleone, in the film The Godfather.

You would think I know better by now. That I would know when I should keep my mouth shut. But there are moments when I think one has to make a stand. Personally, if there is one thing I cannot stand is lazy people. Pure and simple. If you have a job to do, get it done. Don't go trying to pass the buck to someone else because you think you are a unique special snowflake. That just makes you a mofo in my book. The latest piece of stupidity here at the library of Backwater Rural Branch (BRB) U. is that some faculty in the health field studies want articles scanned. Never mind that they now have access to Ebony Proscenium to put any materials they want to put on reserve right there for their students to access it. Apparently, their hands are too delicate to take an article from a journal and operate the scanner to turn it into a PDF to put in Ebony Proscenium. They want the library to do this work for them. I should clarify that this is just the latest "request" from this bunch of self-entitled primma donna faculty mofos who apparently think they are too good to do their own, and who apparently think that the library staff serves as their personal maids.

Of course, to complicate things there is always the one librarian mofo who did it that one time for that one faculty member. In this case, the mofo in question was the Dissemination Matron. But that is beside the point. In a discussion we had recently amongst the librarians, I expressed the opinion that maybe we should "stop being nice" because it creates a precedent. If we do not offer X service (i.e. we do not do their jobs for them), then we should be consistent about that. Having one staff mofo go around the bend does not help the rest of us. I went ahead and said as much, which of course got me in hot water with Boss With a Fist, who is already saying that we should not be quick to say "we are not nice" and that we should seek a compromise. Yes, seeking a compromise was the exact phrasing Boss With a Fist used. You can probably guess where this is heading. I went ahead and replied that no one is saying we stop being kind, helpful or professional, but that we are not here to do their work for them.

So now, I am waiting for the next salvo. Because I know Boss With a Fist is going to stew over that, then come over to my office and possibly chew me out. And I have to desperately try to remember to exercise restraint in the face of idiocy and serious waffling. Boss With a Fist seems to basically be playing both sides. On the one hand, telling those faculty "we" (meaning us. I don't see Boss With a Fist scanning anything for anyone) will "do something" for them (without defining what the "something" might actually be, but letting them think it is what they want). On the other hand, Boss With a Fist will tell us that, in the interest of compromise, maybe we can do some of "that" (whatever "that" may be, including pretty much the scanning in this case) because then we can offer a new service (and of course pile on more work on an overworked staff). This means Boss With a Fist avoids a confrontation, and Boss With a Fist basically throws the staff under the bus. Not exactly a happy outcome because someone in an alleged "leadership" position does not know when to put the proverbial foot down and say "no."

So, at this point, I may keep quiet, but I will certainly bide my time. Because at the end of the day, Don Corleone also had some wise words for those like me who refuse to just sit down and take it:

"I work my whole life, I don't apologize, to take care of my family. And I refused to be a fool dancing on the strings held by all of those big shots. That's my life, I don't apologize for that." --Don Corleone, in the film The Godfather.

The Glamorous Flyboys Fuck up our computers, but it's our fault.

Fri, 30 Oct 2009 21:35:43 GMT

"As I sift and drift through bullshit,
That plagues from day to day. . ."

--From lyrics to Nickelback's "Mistake."

The drama that is working at Backwater Rural Branch (BRB) U. continues. Did we honestly think it would take a break? The latest has to do with upcoming clusterfuck that is going to be our computer systems when our systems guys, Hillbilly Techie and Gruff Techie, retire. They are retiring sometime soon. Hillbilly Techie is leaving us this month for medical reasons, but after that, we may have him about another month, then he is gone. Gruff Techie, his boss, is retiring sometime next year. Why is this significant? It is significant because once they leave, it means that the Glamorous Flyboys will be taking over our computer operations in the library. This would basically mean that we would be stranded up shit's creek without a paddle because the Glamorous Flyboys cannot be bothered when it comes to tending to the library's computer needs. These are the type of people that give IT folks a bad name. These are the kind of people that librarians and library staff rant about when it comes to a blend of incompetence, indifference, and a serious lack of a service ethic. Allow me to explain:

The Glamorous Flyboys have the monopoly when it comes to IT on campus. Think of them as some large evil empire.
The library's systems are mostly maintained by them. However, our two capable systems analysts watch over them locally. They handle local problems, coordinate anything major with the Glamorous Flyboys, and overall make sure things work for us. As Gruff Techie says, "his job is to make sure the needs of the library are met." By the way, such an attitude is a far cry from the Glamorous Flyboys.
Hillbilly Techie believes in being prepared for disaster. If it can break down, he knows it will and thus likes to have backups in place. He maintains the Profound Icing system that keeps our computers safe, and he has also put in place backups for computer account domains and for the printing system, Lighthouse Printing.
The Glamorous Flyboys run Lighthouse Printing. They put all our computers on it, and they swore on a stack of Bibles (which probably spontaneously combusted shortly after they touched them) that Lighthouse never, ever goes down (those were their actual words). Hillbilly Techie, being the wily guy he is, hooked us up so we have a small back-up printer for when Lighthouse goes down. It pissed the hell out of the Glamorous Flyboys. After all, who dares question their wisdom? Well, it turns out we have to turn on the backup printer at least once a week or so. This is because the system that never goes down spends more time on its back than a back alley whore.
By the way, the Glamorous Flyboys don't give a shit if printing goes down. In the other campus labs, if the Lighthouse goes down, it means there is no printing, sorry for the inconvenience. We, the library, are the only place that can offer some printing in the dark times. Do we get a thank you or even a nod of appreciation? You can bet your ass we don't.
The Glamorous Flyboys do not run Profound Icing on their machines. But they do automatic updating on the networks, including ours, regularly. They do this without telling us, and when we ask about it, they actually deny it. "Push updates? Moi? Hell no," they say. Except they do, and we have caught them at it. The latest incident basically crashed our system and left students unable to log-in. Usually, the Glamorous Flyboys would blame it on us, and tell us politely that we are on our own (I think the less polite term is "go fuck yourselves). When they did the latest update over the network, they neglected (as they always do) to do a courtesy phone call or e-mail to tell us. Their update ran against Profound Icing, and everything got fucked. The Glamorous Flyboys, including their big Techno Poobah, had to actually walk to the library (the indignity) to fix their mess. Did they take responsibility? Fuck no.

So now, after that and more, Boss With a Fist has decided to let the Glamorous Flyboys take over the rest of the computer operation. Boss With a Fist has ordered that the security on our computers be lowered to the low standards in the rest of campus. Yes, I said lowered. Our computers have much more security on them than the rest of the campus. When other parts of campus get hacked, we just smile. Well, not for long. I have expressed my concern to Boss With a Fist. Sensei Girl has expressed her concern as well, and we are both librarians who deal with the students on a daily basis. When something with the computers goes bad, we get the brunt. Did Boss With a Fist listen to us? No. To be honest, I think Boss With a Fist is slipping, and has the fist up the boss's own rectum. Because no one wants to admit that:

The Glamorous Flyboys fucked up, and they did so royally. After all, they are the glamorous ones.
We did everything we could do, but we are not psychic. The Flyboys are notorious for their lack of service ethic and communication courtesy. One phone call, and Hillbilly Techie puts on the thaw on the Profound Icing, you run the update and then back to normal. Five minutes for a phone call tops, then 15 more or so for the de-icing. But this would have made sense, and it would mean the glamorous ones would have had to, gasp, talk to a peon about computer systems.
Boss With a Fist is actually blaming it on us saying that no one could get a hold of Hillbilly Techie at the time. Whether he was in the building or not, the issue is no tried to get a hold of him in the first place. And Gruff Techie, by all accounts, was present. This is just a smokescreen.

I am going to be perfectly blunt. When Gruff and Hillbilly retire, we are going to be fucked. This is not idle speculation. Those of us who work in the trenches see this coming like you see a Cat. 5 hurricane coming at you on the Doppler. The only difference is that you can evacuate for a hurricane. Boss With a Fist is basically ready to sell us down the creek because Boss With a Fist failed to plan for these retirements. I have no idea why. Sensei Girl, Guy Who Gets Things (before he left), and me have been saying for a while we need replacements, and we need them now. we have been saying so for at least two years (or five if you count my colleagues who have been here longest). We even had someone else retire in another unit, someone who was here so long they were making a very high salary just by default. We could have used some of that money, hired a new techie analyst, and started training him or her so they could take over. But again, as I am fond of saying, that would make sense.

Do you folks out there ever get that feeling of impending doom? A feeling that something bad is coming, and that no matter how you brace yourself, you are going to be screwed? This must be how it feels when you do a stunt car jump over a bunch of school buses, you realize you did not calculate it correctly, and now you see yourself hurtling into a wreck? You have no control at that point. The only difference is we are passengers in that car, Boss With a Fist is driving.

Things are going from bad to worse, and it is not over yet.

How to lower the morale and productivity of your library staff without really trying

Wed, 21 Oct 2009 21:09:42 GMT

When people ask me about things that happen at work, I often find myself giving this reply, "you would not believe me if I told you." This is one of those moments.

Once in a while, Boss With a Fist finds itself without much of anything to do, also known as some idle time. When this happens, Boss With a Fist usually pokes around until it finds something that will make more work for the rest of us. If that something happens to demoralize the staff in the process, well, that is just icing on the cake. Case in point. And I am using some of the language from the memo Boss With a Fist sent, with some slight modification, because again, if I did not tell you, you would not believe me.

The library at Backwater Rural Branch (BRB) U. has a small comment box in the Distribution counter. The comment cards are a basic form card where a patron can mark from excellent to poor in a series of basic categories in things like service and cleanliness. You know, a step above the little cards you see in some chain restaurants. Most people in the campus who come to the library pay the comment cards little to no mind. So, when someone actually fills one out (about once a year or so), Boss With a Fist gets all excited. We just got a card this week. Boss With a Fist let us all know with the following message:

"I got one of the BRB library unfrequent user cards. This particular patron who filled out the card neglected give specifics regarding time, department or anything. All check mark options were “good” and “excellent” except for one and that category was 'friendliness of staff' with a ranking of 'fair'.

I know we’re not going to please all of the people all of the time, but this is just a memo to all of us to always push to get the 'excellent' score. One of the best things about the BRB U. Library is the helpfulness of the library staff and this is reflected in the positive comments we receive on the Big Poobah Library Distinguishing survey."

My initial reaction, and keep in mind, this nice memo was waiting for us in our e-mail boxes first thing in the morning, which means Boss With a Fist sent it out the night before, was what the fuck is this about? Then I had time to sit and think it over, only to see that this "feedback" is pretty much useless:

There is no time, department, or any other specific detail given. As I told Sensei Girl when we were talking about this, I can't fix something if I do not know it is broken, let alone where and how it may be broken.
Without knowledge of the department or a time, we can't figure out who the disgruntled person, who, for all we know, could have put that response in for shit and giggles (and yes, in here, the kids do a lot worse for shit and giggles, like unplugging the printers once in a while when someone is not looking). But even if the patron was sincere, again, the feedback is meaningless.
For instance, if this had something to do with Reference Boy, our less than capable reference desk assistant, I have no way of proving it. While I suspect at times he is just slacking his way, I can't just reprimand him on the basis of a generic anonymous non-specific comment.
And that leads me to my next point, which Sensei Girl made much better for me, so I will put in what she said: if you have a specific service issue with someone, and you know who the someone is, you call them to your office in private and chew them out. You do not send out some memo and make everyone panic and wonder if they themselves did something to piss some patron off. Personally, I think that is a step below the classroom teacher that punishes the whole kindergarten class because a couple of students were chewing gum in class, and gum chewing is not allowed.

So, thanks Boss With a Fist for throwing off my day, throwing off the day for my colleagues, and overall making us feel like less than shit because you got some anonymous comment card that, though by your admission looks pretty positive overall (after all, the other categories did get "good" or "excellent"), you decide to dwell on some minor detail and thus ruin our day in the process. No, we cannot please everyone all the time. That is a given, and it is one that you should have figured out by now. Also, you have not worked a reference or distribution frontline position in who knows how many years, so maybe you could give those of us who do the benefit of the doubt? After all, we work for you, and you know us. You have no idea who filled out your precious rarely used comment card. And by the way, I should add the note that Boss With a Fist pretty much swears by the Big Poobah Library Distinguishing survey. No matter what imperfections the survey may or not have, Boss With a Fist clings to that instrument like a shipwrecked sailor to the last raft after the boat sank.

Sensei Girl wrote to me an excellent response. In the interest of maintaining the pseudonimity, I will only highlight some parts, but I think she pretty much says much of what I was thinking in a more eloquent and passionate way, and it needs to be heard, because lord knows Boss With a Fist won't be hearing it anytime soon:

Sensei Girl said that now she was going to spend the rest of her day trying to figure out when she was only "fair" to a student. She asks if it could have been during any of these specific situations; the comments in parenthesis are mine:

Was it when I told them they could not eat their salad in the library? (We have a no food in the library policy, due in large part to a significant pest problem. In fact, we have had reports of roaches in the library recently. And by the way, Boss With a Fist recently bought some new fancy furniture for the library. And one of those tables was just found, by frontline staff, to have a fruit beverage stain. But heavens forbid we enforce the rules. This issue by the way could make another post later).
Or was it when I stayed late to help a student who had no clue about his assignment? (Sensei Girl is notorious for going the extra two miles for a student. She stays late. She comes in early in the mornings. She drops anything she may be doing if it means she is helping out a student who needs help. Between you and me, this memo from Boss With a Fist was a slap in the face to her).
Or maybe it was that time when I spent all day hand-holding student after student who were in an intro humanities class and had no clue what to do to find info on their topic so I walked them (them being 6) through Big Art Depot Database, and Huge Journal Warehouse, and one other database, and explained what their paper is about? (See my note above. By the way, she spent a good three to four hours with these kids overall. Did anybody thank her? Other than me nodding in agreement when she told me about it, nope. That certainly is "fair" friendliness and service, right?).

I could go on, but this should give my visitors here an idea. So, any administrators out there who may be reading this, here is your lesson for the day on how to lower morale and productivity for your library staff without really trying.

Going over the five worst excuses for not using Twitter, or why I don't give a shit about Twitter

Thu, 15 Oct 2009 21:07:35 GMT

OK, maybe the title to this journal entry is a bit harsh, but it does get old after a while when the happy go lucky celebrity librarians or some 2.0 wide eyed gurus try to make it sound as if you are not using Twitter (or whatever 2.0 gizmo online they are peddling this day), then there must be something wrong with you. Case in point is this post on "The Five WORST Excuses For Not Using Twitter., from TwitTown's Rob (I am betting they are fans of the application; with a tip of the feather to the Librarian in Black who pointed it out with much cheer). If you like using Twitter, and you find use for it, even if it is just to waste some idle hours away, then good for you. It does not follow you should feel the need to put the rest of us who have better things to do and friends through some guilt trip. I always wonder if people like that work for the product in question, but I did not see any evidence of that.

Anyhow, the post practically lends itself to a reply, so here goes mine, for what little it may be worth:

Excuse Numero Uno: "I don't use Twitter because I don't have anything to say." This just causes the author to tell us that if we can open our mouths, other than to breathe or eat, then we have a reason to use Twitter. Yea, sure. There is the old adage about better to keep your mouth shut than opening it and thus proving to the world that you really are a fool. Guess what? Some people really DO NOT Have anything to say, and they sure don't feel like proclaiming it to the rest of the world. Some people may want to, oh, I don't know, keep their thoughts to themselves maybe? Maybe do a little writing of their own in a private notebook instead? You know, the old fashioned way, or is that too hard to understand? And sure, some people use Twitter to listen, but a lot of people do not care to listen either. Did it occur to Rob this may be a matter of preference? I personally keep track a good number of sources in feed readers, use other social media, and overall get a good load of information already. Twitter is not going to add anything that I probably do not scan or see already. As for the Rob's diss on friends, where he says, "if they don't have anything to say AND they don't have anything that they're remotely interested in hearing about...you might want to find more interesting friends," well maybe my friends are just fine. They are interesting enough to me and each other, and we have our ways of sharing, just not your way. They just don't have the time or the inclination to waste it on your precious Twitter.
The second excuse: "I don't use Twitter because you can't say anything meaningful in 140 characters." Yes, I will grant that you can say some pithy and wise things in short sentences or bursts of thought. They may not have depth, but they can be witty and memorable. However, Twitter is not exactly used to share the meaningful (yes, I know, this goes to the next excuse, but we will get there). If you notice, a lot of the stuff people share on the application requires people to use URL shorteners and usually a bunch of abbreviations (which are often meaningful if you are into the slang of the community). To his put down of "if it takes more than 140 characters to convey the main idea, it probably wasn't as meaningful as you thought it was," I will say that maybe your literacy skills may need some work if you think that making the point has to be done in 140 characters or less. I am willing to bet you probably don't read many long texts, or at least you do not have the patience for them anymore. I am sure if we could have turned Martin Luther King's "I have a dream speech," to pick an example of something meaningful in longer that 140 characters, into a series of tweets, you'd be happy. You will have to forgive me if not all of us have your oratorical skills of being able to put out our ideas in 140 characters or less. Ironic, since you had to make a post of longer than 140 characters to tell us we have to use Twitter. You mean you could not make that point and insult a few people in less than 140 characters? Hmm.
Third excuse: "I don't have time to use Twitter." Now some of us actually work for a living. Others already have accounts in a few other social services, and the last thing we want is yet another account that we have to pay attention to. When we say we don't have the time, it is not that we lack the ability to type or write out a sentence in 30 seconds. Equating the time it takes to use to we don't want to spend the time is not really quite fair. As you the author point out so well, some of us "don't think Twitter is worth spending any time on," and we have no problem saying it and living it. Get over it.
Excuse number four: "I don't use Twitter because I'm not interested in hearing about what people are eating for breakfast." Yes, you may hear that a lot, but the reality is that there are a lot of twits tweeting about their breakfast or other meal, and this goes from celebrities to the average Joe. Just because you the author do not see such on your Twitter or the 50 followers you claim to have, it does not mean it does not exist. That may tell me you probably filter your Twitter. The breakfast thing is not some rumor. All it takes is going to the Twitter site, typing "eating breakfast" in the search box, and you will get plenty of people who are telling us what they ate for breakfast. Nice try. My favorite example is the user who proclaims in his Twitter that he/she is "was hella looking forward to eating a bomb ass breakfast this morning! ugh guess i'll fill myself up with some coco puffs." Yea, that is definitely stuff I want to spend time following on Twitter. Again, take the attitude and get over it. Not all of us are interested, and we do have a bit more intelligence than you give us credit for.
And the final straw: "I don't use Twitter because it's a waste of time." Ok, I will grant the thing about the recent events in Iran related to the election, but for everyone of those noble uses, again, you get the what "I had for breakfast" lines. And at any rate, in terms of getting the information, there were other sources. Calling me ignorant because I happen to see it as a waste of my time (even if you don't see it as a waste of yours) is just basically a way to alienate people. You are not going to win converts, aside from preaching to the choir, by calling readers who may be curious or in disagreement ignorant. To be honest, that does come across as a bit arrogant on your part.

Then again, what would I know? I am the ignorant guy who really does not care for Twitter because, to be perfectly honest, it does not meet a need for me. There are plenty of other online tools that meet my information and social needs just fine. As an anonymous commenter said on your post, at this time, Twitter is just not relevant to me. You making it sound like I must be some clueless technophobe or luddite because I do not care about Twitter is not going to convince me either. And that librarians out there buy into your mantra certainly do nothing for my faith in the library profession. Librarians who buy into that just fall into the "if you are not with us, you must be against us" 2.0 crowd, and since I hate self-righteous twopointopians, to borrow the term from a librarian blogger much more famous than I will ever be, I pretty much move on. But I did have to say my two cents because at the end of the day, just because I don't do Twitter, it does not follow that my life will somehow be incomplete or my friends be any less fun. We are doing just fine without your condescension, thank you very much.

Oh, and a small last minute addition: don't believe all the hype on Twitter. It may seem that their user base is not that big when compared to other social networks.

Follow up on 10/20/09: A thank you and tip of the feather to the Effing Librarian, who linked to this post. Go read his "Five BEST excuses for not using Twitter," which certainly expand on our list here. And you have to watch the video he posted. Funny and so true.

Stolen right under our noses

Mon, 12 Oct 2009 14:06:32 GMT

Some people just have no shame. Case in point. I am sitting in my office this morning catching up on e-mail and feeds before I start on some tasks.

My ever capable Reference Boy comes into my office and says, "there is a guy out there who wants to make a photocopy of one of our posters. It has an inspirational quote on it."

I ponder it a moment, and then I say, "oh ok, just be careful removing it from the wall." He leaves, and I go on with what I am doing at my desk. I then decide to take a break and go check. Reference Boy then tells me, "I think he walked out. I don't see him."

And my inner alarm goes off. Sure enough, the patron in question, described as a nice looking dad, who apparently was in with his kid at the time, had walked off with the poster. Apparently, he tried to photocopy it, could not quite line it up, so he left the half made copy, and took the original.

Yes. He stole a promotional poster for the federal government's information portal. The irony is that, since it was a free poster after all and from the federal government, had he asked for it, I might have let him have it. In the end, all we could do was have a little laugh at it, and pretty much let it go. I will eventually find something else for the wall.

I am telling you folks: people have no shame.

Crossposted to library_mofo .

Professor labels me as incompetent, but what else is new?

Wed, 07 Oct 2009 21:43:34 GMT

Because some mofos have to be seen, or heard in this case, to be believed. This happened a couple of days ago, but I actually need to calm myself down, go home, spend some time with Don Cenobio Sauza's finest, and then come back the next day. I have dealt with mofos and condesceding faculty primma donnas for a few years now, but this motherfucker is now going into my top three to five top assholes.

I have to set this up and take you step by step, so hang on.

A couple of students come in asking for a particular article. Like most students who don't pay attention in class and are barely able to take notes, these two only knew part of the article title and an author's last name. They were not sure about the author's last name either, but they said their professor told them the article was in the library (red flag right there. You know when the "professor tells them" X 0r Y, Dr. Mofo has to be right).
I do some reference interviewing like asking what class is it for, subject, so on. I then do my magic. I manage to figure out which journal it could be, and I search for the journal title in Crapsco's A-Z List. Crapsco tells me that the journal in question only goes back to early 2000 or so electronically. In print, for our local holdings, goes back to 1980. This is according to Crapsco's A-Z list.
Based on #2 above, and since Guy Who Gets Things, who was in charge of Crapsco's A-Z list before he left for greener pastures (and higher pay, damn bastard), stressed that A-Z was the most accurate holdings listing for us, I then followed the next step in the process and suggested they try Interlibrary Loan. I even showed them how to get to the brand spanking new system. End of story I thought. Oh no.
Apparently the kiddies go back to the professor. Dr. Mofo Kinesios (in honor of the fact he is a kinesiology self-entitled mofo, we are giving him a full name) calls the library, and I get the call transferred to me since I was on duty at the reference desk. He swears the article is in the library, that yes, it was written in 1960 or so, and how is it possible I turned his poor students away (implying of course that I am less than competent). Ok, so I nod, make some notes, and I manage to get one important detail from him: the exact year (we had thought the '60 could have been Volume 60, and again, the little angels had no idea if the 60 in their chicken scratch notes was 1960 or volume 60). However, it was the second detail I discovered after more digging around that sealed the deal, and this is the clincher: The motherfucking journal changed names. It used to be called Big Poobah Research Trimonthly. It changed to Big Poobah Research Trimonthly for Fancy Jocks and Fitness. Of course, Crapsco's A-Z list would not tell me that. So, initially I had no way of knowing. However, with the able help of folks in our Periodicals Unit, I figured it out.
I go to find the microfilm that contains the article. I put it on the reader, verify it is there. I then call Dr. Mofo Kinesios. And here is where the primma donna earns the award for Asshole of the Month. Instead of being grateful that I found it, and that I would be glad to set the film aside for his students to come back, he actually spent a full five minutes berating me. I learned that " "need to look for things harder" (what do you call the two hours I have spent prior to this?), that I am a bad person because I "turned his students" away (even though I busted my ass to find what they needed. In fact, I gave the citation before the professor called so they could do the ILL as well as check with Dr. Mofo Kinesios if that was what he actually wanted), and that overall I was an incompetent, derelict, negligent, and mean librarian. And it was all delivered in the condescending tone you use to talk to your dog: "aww, did you piss on the carpet again? Bad dog."
No, I was not able to explain to him about the fact the journal changed titles, that his students came in with incomplete information, or anything else for that matter because it was clearly more important to him to not look like the asshole he is in front of his students, who were probably less than honest with him too (did the little angels tell their professor that they went to the library with incomplete information? I am willing to wager money that the answer is no).

So, I will be honest with you folks. I was a step away from simply telling Dr. Mofo Kinesios over the phone about some graphic things he could do with the microfilm roll and a certain small cavity in his posterior. However, unlike him, who by the way is chair of his department, I actually managed to be restrained and extend to him the courtesy and simple dignity he denied me.

And to cover myself, I did send a memo to Boss With a Fist describing the incident and telling Boss With a Fist that I certainly did not appreciate the talking down to. I know maids and janitors that get better treatment than I often do at work. The irony? Boss With a Fist actually replied saying that Boss With a Fist hoped it was an isolated incident, since Boss With a Fist had met Dr. Mofo Kinesios a few times, and he actually seemed quite cordial. We have a name for people like that: two-faced.

And thus, I, Dances With Books, institute at this blog the first ever "Asshole of the Month" award to Dr. Mofo Kinesios. Now go fuck yourself.

Cross-posted to the library_mofo blog.

What I wish I could put on my library's answering machine

Fri, 02 Oct 2009 20:31:37 GMT

With some slight modification, this phone answering script for a school would be what I would want to put in our library's answering machine. Sensei Girl already suggested one option. She suggested: "If you need an article from an obscure journal for a paper you have due tomorrow morning, when you should have started your research two months ago, press 1."

For your enjoyment then. Feel free to leave me ideas in the comments. I am really thinking of creating a script for the Backwater Rural Branch (BRB) U. Library, even if I don't get to use it.

Trying to tell, but who would believe me?

Thu, 24 Sep 2009 21:34:34 GMT

I know I have not updated the journal in a while, but, as an old saying back in the tribe goes, "if I told you, you would think I am making it up." The madness keeps going, and it does not seem to get better. Just got out of some librarian meeting, and though I want to write about it. Heck, I need to write about it, get it out of my system, I find that I can't. I am too angry, and I have even witnessed people getting hurt (emotionally, that is. Nothing violent--yet). So, as soon as I cool down, I will try to write again.

"I'm scarred for life
but it's not my flesh that's wounded
So how can I face the torment alone
The vivid scenes and all the recurring nightmares
I lay there and sweat until it gets light "

-from lyrics to Iron Maiden's "Fortunes of War."

How to insult all your faculty at once

Mon, 24 Aug 2009 17:08:46 GMT

Just when I thought that Dr. Campus Prez could not go any lower, or top his remarks on "THE Google," he manages to sink that foot deeper down his throat. This comes straight from this year's Prezidential Convo at Backwater Rural Branch (BRB) U. I did not make it to the convocation, but Sensei Girl had the misfortune of going, catching the insult full blast, and was glad to give me the dirt so I could share it with you. So, what did he say?

He was discussing salaries. BRB U. faculty are among the lowest paid in Big Red State. Though they have gotten some measly raises (about 1% or so recently), the overall salaries are a shame when compared to other faculty in the state. Heck, they are even lower than salaries of the faculty in the same system we are part of. Not that Main Red State Mothership U (Mrs. MU) gives a rat's derriere about the lesser members of its system. But I digress. Here is the remark from the Dr. Campus Prez. He basically said that he was glad the faculty were getting a raise (see above), and apparently before this year, the university was just not willing to hire the best available. I asked around to verify, and that was the quote. He basically told off most of the faculty in this campus by telling them they are less paid because they are not the best out there. Right at the convocation. Now, the issue of not hiring the best and brightest is something I have discussed before for our library (also here and here). But to actually, as president of the campus, to stand in front of your faculty and tell them that they are getting low salaries because no one was willing to put money to get the best faculty out in the market, that has to take the cake.

And by the way, we just got a memo shortly after the convo with a link ordering us to familiarize ourselves with the new Planned Conception document. Apparently the powers that be adopted it sometime in the spring, so I get to read it. By the way, stay tuned. As soon as I manage to read it, the fun just might begin anew in this journal.

There's no parody like power
There's no fever like desire
I've drained the wine of darkness
to the dregs of deceit
There's no drug as strong as pride
There's no blindness like conceit
I've railed against the mountain
With a pickaxe and a file
There's no minefield like presumption
There's no death wish like denial

--From lyrics to "Insult Like the Truth" by Unshaken.

Even the high level campus officers are mofos at BRB U.

Wed, 22 Jul 2009 01:04:20 GMT

This happened over a week ago or so. I have been really debating if I wanted to post it or not because I was afraid people would think I was making it up. Even as I am typing it now, I wish I could say I was making it up because the implications otherwise are just terrible to bear for me. Here is the story.

We recently completed construction on an electronic classroom in the library. The room is set aside for library instruction only and for faculty training done by the campus trainer. In other words, it is not a spare lab for some mofo faculty member who wants a computer lab at the last minute. This was the understanding and agreement when it was built. Unfortunately, the "brilliant" powers that be failed to not place the room in the campus calendar system. What this means is that any wahoo can reserve the room. The claim made by the geniuses is that hey, the reservation form goes to the library's gatekeeper or the campus trainer, so they should be able to refuse any request not meeting the criteria. Oh, and the other brilliant move on the part of the powers that be was giving the room the same lock that can be opened with the universal key. What has been happening?

What has been happening is that all sorts of people have been entering the room. A few of them have been entering without authorization. We have told Boss With a Fist about this. Sensei Girl, who basically built the room from the ground up, has been warning Boss With a Fist about the matter. Sensei Girl and I predicted that it was a matter of time before someone damaged something due to the lack of control. Last week it happened, and you would not believe who did it.

One of our two Tech Fu monks goes into the room to do some routine maintenance on the laptops in the room. What does he find? Some mofo campus VP decided to just help himself to the room to do who knows what with a group of VIP's. His little group broke one of the locks on a laptop, likely in attempt to remove a laptop from the room, who knows why. We know who this VP bastard is by name. We have a witness so we know it was him. But when I ask Sensei Girl what can we do about it, she says nothing much since that is the way things work around here. The bastard practically tries to steal equipment, damages it, and we have to put up with it. The Tech Fu monk is not about to say anything either because he is not about to lose his job, understandably so.

I have seen nepotism at its worst. After all, nepotism is what got Ms. Local Clueless hired as one of our new librarians. Ok, I could live sort of live with that. But to have a high level campus official basically come into our library, use a room without even asking, and on top of it damaging equipment, then getting away with it. Well, that is the epitome of a motherfucker if I have ever seen one. And shit have I seen mofos in my time. But this one just takes the cake.

I don't know what to feel. Hopeless? Angry? Annoyed? Despondent? Any ideas? Because I am running out of steam here.

Where the hell do those librarians work?

Mon, 13 Jul 2009 20:49:30 GMT

ALA-APA once again released their Librarian Salary Survey (press release here; can't give you the full study since they want you to pay for it, and not all of us are swimming in moolah). I have been pondering this for a while because I honestly want to know where the hell their sampling of "more than 17,018" individual salaries of ALA MLS librarians work. Here are the very basic numbers:

Mean: ". . .decreased less than 1 percent from 2008, down $100 to $58,860." Wow. $100 whole bucks decrease. I am nowhere close that mean. By the way, the mean is the average (add all salaries and divide by the number of salaries).
Median: ". . .$54,500, 2 percent higher than in 2008." Again, I am nowhere close to the middle range. The median is middle number in the line of values. Either way, this has got to be administrators because I don't see this kind of salary in the average librarian job (i.e. front line) anywhere.
A bit more: ". . .salaries ranged from $22,000 to $256,800." Mine would be leaning to the lower end, and I am sure some of the people who read this journal probably range in the lower part.

Just some food for thought. And by the way, here at Backwater Rural Branch (BRB) U., for the new hires, we are nowhere near the mean or the median either. Hell, for them at least, they are being paid more than I am. Yes, we do have some equity issues here, but that is another post. Anyhow, I just want to know where those librarians surveyed worked, and are they hiring?

Some tips for interviewing candidates on campus for a job

Fri, 10 Jul 2009 18:29:13 GMT

This could be the type of thing I would let my "Lt. Dunbar" persona handle, but since I have made these suggestions to Boss With a Fist a few times, and Boss With a Fist refuses to listen for some reason, I am sharing them here in the hope that it may save some of you out there in academic libraries doing campus interviews. Anyhow, to keep the story short, Guy Who Gets Things left for greener pastures. We are stuck trying to find a new replacement. After the usual phone interviews, we (meaning Boss With a Fist. Actually none of the other librarians really had any input), selected two candidates for campus visits. One of them visited today. And before the second one arrives, I would like to share this small piece of wisdom.

So, some tips to apply when interviewing a job candidate:

Make copies of the applicant's cover letter and resume/CV. You would think this is common sense. In every campus interview that I have been to, the interviewers all had copies of my cover letter and CV. They had at least glanced at it, and they had an idea who the person was and their basic credentials. Oh no, not here. Apparently running five or six copies on a copier is too much work. Then again, since the economy is bad, and the administrators here at Backwater Rural Branch U. are applying "fiscal responsibility" (b.s. line for cutting every single corner), I guess using some paper is out of the question. Now, why is this important? Well, first, we did the telephone interviews at least two or three weeks ago. We don't remember who is who. There is only one set of credentials, and it is kept in the library's administrative office. Fine to go sign them out, so to speak, for preliminary screening, but when you have a finalist, you need to make the credentials available. That way we know who the hell we are actually interviewing and what are their qualifications. We might be able to make notes in our copies of questions we may want to ask the candidate based on what the provided. However, since the powers that be fail at this simple task, we end up walking in without a clue. And this leads me to the next item:
Make some effort to have a common set of questions to ask. There are some reasons for this. First, it maintains consistency. Sure, you may have a question or two off the cuff, but you should be asking pretty much the same questions of each candidate. It is a measure of consistency and a measure of fairness to each candidate. Second, having a basic list helps eliminate the odd gaps of silent space when after Boss With A Fist or the Relic Huntress (aka The Princess) stop talking and dominating the conversation. We do not know who this person was (see the previous item), so we don't know much to ask. Especially when the position is not related to our own part of the library (i.e. it is a technical services job which will do almost no reference work). With a basic common list, we can at least have a chance to say something.
Don't let the one person dominate the conversation. Relic Huntress (aka The Princess) pretty much loves to listen to herself talk, and after a while, she will start asking mostly irrelevant questions to hear herself (and subjecting us to her inanity in the process). Boss With a Fist, it's your job to prevent that from happening, well, after you are done with your part of overwhelming the interview yourself. I know the Relic Huntress pretty much resides like a remora in the darkest regions of your backside, but once in a while, tell the sycophant to shut the hell up. Or better yet, why don't you two conduct the interview, and let us get on with our work. Since Boss With a Fist is the only one with a copy of the credentials, it means no one else can say much. Relic Huntress simply makes it up as she goes.
Don't make the interview about the person that left. Relic Huntress (aka The Princess) pretty much went on this spree about all the wonderful stuff that Guy Who Gets Things used to do. And yes, we do have to grant he did a lot. He was very good at what he did. And while the candidate did ask to know about the previous person, it does not mean they need to hear how he practically walked on water, healed the sick, and was more manly than Charles Bronson and Lee Marvin combined. That is a lot of pressure to put on the candidate, not to mention you are now basically telling the candidate, "we want a clone of Guy Who Gets Things." Odds are the candidate will not be that clone. And in the end, no matter how competent the candidate is, they are not going to be him. So, Princess, do us a favor and shut the fuck up already. You are not giving a good impression. And yes, I know you were friends with him, and you likely miss him, but stop with the nut polishing already.
Don't tell the candidate that "this job is a great stepping stone to someplace else" or that "it is a good learning ground to move on." Yes, we know that Guy Who Gets Things went on to a bigger, better heeled university. Good for him. Not good is to state that the job you are offering is just something temporary until you find something better. Not exactly the best message to convey to a candidate you are wooing. This is specially crucial since you are also trying to entice them to move to Backwater Rural County, not exactly a great destination as it is. Sure, the candidate in time may end up moving on, but you want to convey your interest and hope that, should they be successful in the interview process and selected, that they may want to stay. Personally, when I heard the Princess say that (and the quotes I used are actual quotes), I found it disturbing. Is that really the message we want to be sending? And what does that say to the people remaining here? Are you telling them that they are just not good enough, and this was the best they could do? Or are you encouraging them to leave as well? Makes me want to go start the job hunt again, maybe find a place that would welcome me and actually encourage me to stay.
Water. Yes, have a bottle of water or two for the candidate. Again, I have mentioned this time and again. Why do we need to rush to the vending machine to get a bottle of water when the candidate says, "could I have some water, please?" You can buy bottled water fairly cheap. Get some bottles, put them in the staff fridge early that morning, or the night before, so you have something to offer. This is a basic issue of being thoughtful. It is also a basic issue of hospitality, which is something the candidate will measure you on as well. Last thing you want is for some candidate to say, "man, those people could not even offer me some water."

In the end, I hope if someone reads this, that they may learn a thing or two. It may be too late for us since the powers that be seem to just refuse to show some common sense. I know. I have tried, but since I refuse to take a side trip into the lower regions of Boss With a Fist's backside, I am not listened to. So, save yourselves if you can. I just find it sad and disappointing that I actually have to type this here, but I have to let it out. I have to let someone know, hope someone will read this, share the pain, or just say "what the fuck?"

And if by chance, you know of a good job out there, preferably in library instruction, point me to it.

Been a while, but a lot has been going on.

Wed, 17 Jun 2009 19:14:09 GMT

Wow, it has been six weeks or so since I last posted here. It has not been for a lack of the bizarre and ridiculous. There have been a lot of changes and much turmoil here at Backwater Rural Branch (BRB) U. We have a couple of new cast members, and we lost at least one. And don't forget, Ms. Hit-and-Runs is leaving us soon as well. So, as soon as I can find some time to type and catch my breath, I will bring you folks up to date.

In the meantime, I am still commenting over at the library mofo blog.

Catch y'all on the flipside.

Once again, lack of planning on your part is not an emergency on mine

Thu, 30 Apr 2009 22:49:55 GMT

This line should be a mantra for librarians in academia everywhere when dealing with students who basically left stuff due to be done at the last minute:

"A lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine."

We have a policy here at Backwater Rural Branch (BRB) U. Library that you CANNOT put some foreign paper into our printers. The reason for this is that we have had kids put in their resume paper, jam the machines, and then not only ruin the job they were trying to do, they also bring down the machine, depriving everyone behind them.

This has been the policy for a while, but every semester, around the time when finals are coming, we get a few panicked procrastinators who want to put in their fancy paper into the printer. Their usual whine is "my professor needs me to put this in fancy paper." The reality, after asking a professor or two, is that the professor says "be creative with your handout," and the students interpret it as "put it on fancy paper" (as if that would make a difference).

So, today, I get some senior lady (as in old, not her year in college) get in my face asking for an exception because her paper (allegedly) is the same weight as the regular paper. I told her no once. I explained the policy once. She whined some more. I told her the only option is the campus copy center. Sadly, the copy center assholes only keep business hours, and we get the mofos in the evening. Having said all that, I lack sympathy because the kiddies all knew about their projects months ago. And there is a little place called Kinko's. Actually, in our case, Kinko's is cheaper than the campus copy place mofos, which is short staffed, and they do charge high prices to keep clients away. Yes, I know, it is ironic. But that is another story.

(Crossposted to library_mofo )

Campus Prez says, "hey, we love you, now bend over"

Wed, 01 Apr 2009 20:04:02 GMT

As those who stop by this journal know, things have not been looking up here at old Backwater Rural Branch (BRB) U. One of the big events on campus is the Annual Staff Love Bash Weekapalooza. This event is basically a week when the Staff Cabal, with the blessing of Dr. Campus Prez and the Command Team, put together a series of silly activities for the staff to, allegedly, take a break from their slave labor and for the administrators to show how much they love the peons. The Presidential Edict regarding the Annual Staff Love Bash Weekapalooza just came in. And I could not help but share some of the highlights because, well hey, this is BRB U. There is something ridiculous in the air every day here. So, from the edict, with my commentary:

Dr. Campus Prez opens the edict by telling us how happy he is that we make the university such a great place to be for our workers and the students. Thus, we hold the Annual Staff Love Bash Weekapalooza every spring, thrown together by the Staff Cabal. This event is described as "a fun-filled week of activities" for everybody.
The theme? "Freshen, revivify, and reanimate." Ok, I will admit that I used a thesaurus, but if you do too, you will see the three words they actually used, which by the way, were all synonyms. Whoever came up with the theme this year was clearly not very literate since they basically repeated the same three basic words around the notions of renewing, hoping to get some regeneration, so everyone could revitalize after the Southern Campus Re-Affirmation Process (SCRAP) hysteria and the lack of resources among other things.By the way, the SCRAP hysteria is not over; it is still very much alive and well.
Dr. Campus Prez goes on to write: "I find this theme so relevant in these economic times. While we recognize that we’ve all had to look at making changes in the way we do things, I do feel it important to continue the Annual Staff Love Bash Weekapalooza tradition." Furthermore, he adds, "We do need to freshen, revivify, and reanimate and stay connected as coworkers and friends (oh, so he is my friend now, huh?). We do not want everyone to be so consumed with our responsibilities that we neglect to show our appreciation to you, our loyal and very hard working employees. "

Let us look at how much appreciation and love the administration, especially Dr. Campus Prez and the Command Team, have shown the rest of us peons:

The Lightbulb Edict.
The Heater and Fan Removal Edict.
The clusterfuck that led to us having to hire Ms. Local Clueless as one of our new librarians. (That is just one link. If you go to the post, you can get the links to the older posts and the rest of that saga).
Other cuts here.
And we could go on, but I am trying to play (somewhat) fair here.

So when Dr. Campus Prez decides to pat himself on the back, light the cigars, and pour the cognac, well I have to just say a thing or two. But don't take my word for it. The memo for the Annual Staff Love Bash Weekapalooza gets better:

They basically planned a bunch of little activities for the week. Some examples include: bowling (I have no idea where, probably one of the local bowling alleys), putt-putt (at the local rundown chain putt putt location), and movies (do they mean we get a movie gift certificate, or do they mean they run some old movie out of a 35mm projector on a canvas screen? Guess which one I am betting on).
Of course, this is not just free for all. There are rules. First rule, and I am quoting directly: "Please remember that all offices must remain open during the week and participation in any activity requires the approval of your supervisor and coordination with others in your area to minimize service disruption." So, don't you dare go play putt-putt or take a toss at the dunking tank (yes, there is going to be one) without running it by your boss and hoping you can actually take some time from your busy work schedule to go goof off.
And another rule. Again, quoting directly: "All benefits-eligible employees may participate in up to two activities Monday through Thursday in addition to lunch and the afternoon activities on Friday." The underlining and bolding in the quote was part of the quote. Yes, you can't just do whatever the fuck you want. You have to sign up (sign-up sheet forthcoming. No, I am not making that up), you better not participate in a third activity. Because we appreciate you, just not enough to actually trust you to decide how to have a good time in the activities the Staff Cabal threw together for you. Got it?
And Dr. Campus Prez ends by saying, "Please plan to come out, and have a great time." Yea, I am sure I will come out (with adequate supervisor approval) after I look over my busy schedule (and I really do have a pretty busy schedule), and decide which two activities I want to play (as if).

I will be working as usual that week. For one, anyone who works in a library knows April is a busy month (National Poetry Month, National Library Week, so on), and we are actually holding events during April that I get to coordinate and implement, even if most of the other librarians don't give a rat's ass (that would be another post for another day). But at the end of the day, my issue is the fact that they want to express "appreciation" after screwing us over and then telling us we need permission to be appreciated.

Good luck with that, you pompous motherfucker.

"Oh, and remember: next Friday... is Hawaiian shirt day. So, you know, if you want to, go ahead and wear a Hawaiian shirt and jeans. " --Bill Lumberg, from the movie Office Space.

Somebody shoot me now!

Fri, 27 Mar 2009 13:56:31 GMT

Ok, maybe I am not suicidal yet, but Boss With a Fist just barged into my office first thing in the morning with yet another crisis in the assessments for Southern Campus Re-Affirmation Process (SCRAP). Some nonsense now about walking around the library with floor plans so we can make ticks on it to mark floor space usage. Because we need more evidence the library is being used. And while I am all for assessment and making a case, doing it in a hysterical manner for one, and two in a way that just takes a lot more time from librarians and workers, who can be doing other more constructive things, for a dubious document (this stuff will likely end up in a binder), is not the way to go. You are driving me nuts. Get a grip.

More to come, because the madness here does not seem to end. And the day is not even started all the way.

"The tension spreads just like a plague,
Killing reason on the way.
Like wildfire it spreads through the nation
Chocking us with aggravation."
--The Kinks, "Aggravation."

The more uncomfortable you are, the more money we save

Wed, 25 Mar 2009 18:10:08 GMT

So on the principle of "the more uncomfortable you are, the more money we save," the administration here at Backwater Rural Branch (BRB) U. just sent out its latest Energy Cutback News, part of the latest Five Year Plan for the Campus Economy. As my few readers will know, we have had a lightbulb edict and another edict to take away heaters and fans because heaven forbid we seek a little comfort while we work. So now, the powers that be have sent the latest update. Here are the highlights with quotes from the document and my comment. As usual, names changed to protect the not-so-innocent:

"Thank you for your patience with us as we work to dial in to a new temperature range on campus." Namely, thank you for not rioting while we basically turn off all temperature regulation so it's fucking freezing when it's cold, and it is hotter than a day at the Atacama when it's hot. Like we ever had a choice. We don't have temperature controls in our buildings. When students complain to us of temperature issues, we can only shrug because the controls are off in some central facility, and you already told them to shut it down.
"You will be glad to hear that the changes we are making are already resulting in significant savings." How significant you ask. No idea because the memo never tells us how much we have saved. Kind of like a five year plan. You know you are fulfilling your goal, just don't know by how much or how much longer it will take to get you there.
"As the weather warms up, the potential for savings increases.....but, of course, so does the potential for slightly higher levels of discomfort and variances among areas of the campus." Sure, we will rake in more savings, allegedly (since they also cut back on travel and other actual necessities), but it means you guys will be sweating like pigs. We are turning off the AC in the middle of a hot summer in a part of the country that pretty much heats up like a blast furnace in the summer, so much so it makes furnaces from U.S. Steel look like space heaters. But hey, we are saving money.
"Therefore, we would like to announce that we will be moving to a more relaxed standard of dress earlier this year than usual." Our campus has a dress code of sorts. It is not quite posted or written, but pretty much in the range of semi-casual to business casual. The deal is, since we live in a very red part of the red states, during the summer, there is the concern that if a woman wears a skirt that is too short (namely a bit above the knee), then she is probably a strumpet. No, I am not making that up, which is why the BRB campus does their annual Spring edict about moving to the summer dress code, meaning you can wear short sleeves. Since it is getting hot as fuck earlier, we get the "generosity" of being able to dress with less layering. Thank you massa.
However, according to the memo, we are having VIPs on campus the first week of April: "our [new big system Poobah] and some high-level donors - and it would be appreciated if we all made an effort to put the university in the best possible light those days." In other words, dammit, we better not see any short sleeves. Men better be wearing suits and ties and women better be wearing dresses and jackets. Yes, they actually have to send memos to get people to dress up when some big honcho shows up. How fucking ridiculous and paternalistic do you have to be?

So, there you have it. We are saving a lot of money. I don't how much. I do know I may lose some wait from the sweating I will be doing this summer. And I will keep the small fan I have in my office no matter what. Yes, I do have a little one in the desktop for when I need to move the hot air around before I pass out in my windowless closet office (yes, my office was literally carved out of a larger storage closet in our library). Sensei Girl says she will get a battery-operated one to hook up on her desk. I may try that, add some rechargeable batteries, and you are set. Either way, I am certainly doing my best to subvert things, not because I am anti-environmental or against some money saved from utilities, but because I am still a human being who deserves some comfort and dignity.

What are they going to do? Fire me? Let's be honest, things are so bad here with the Southern Campus Re-Affirmation Process (SCRAP) accreditation, that they can't afford to fire anyone, or have anyone leaving. True story. Word came down yesterday that the administration wants to make sure we have the requisite number of librarians in place by June, which apparently is when SCRAP will come around to look around and make sure we do have enough librarians. Sensei Girl was joking we had to make sure we timed out our walkout for the end of May, hehe.

Maybe what these people need to do is switch to Geico, and stop squeezing their workers for change because I am sure Dr. Campus Prez will still be pretty comfortable in his ivory office.

The economy may be bad, but get a discount for the country club

Mon, 23 Mar 2009 14:42:12 GMT

I always say that one of these days I will write a book. Most people who say they will write a book say they will do it on retirement, but since I probably will never be able to afford retirement, I have to say then "one of these days." Anyhow, I find reassurance that I may not be able to afford retirement, but I will be able to get a discount into the local Blessed Arbor Country Club. No, I am not making this up. Here is the actual memo that Backwater Rural Branch (BRB) University folks just got from the HR honchos last week. Names were changed to protect the not-so-innocent elitist mofos, plus some slight rewriting to keep the pseudonimity:

Backwater Rural Branch (BRB) University workers are eligible for a discounted initiation fee at Blessed Arbor Country Club. The fees and monthly dues are:

CLASSIFICATION        REGULAR INITIATION FEE    The BRB U. INITIATION FEE DISCOUNT    MONTHLY DUES

Full                $3750 plus tax            $1875 plus tax                    $349 plus tax
Tennis                $2000 plus tax            $1000 plus tax                    $179 plus tax
Social                $1000 plus tax            $ 500 plus tax                    $155 plus tax

BRB U. workers are eligible for a discounted rate of 50% on the regular initiation fee. Monthly dues are at the regular rate.

If you are interested in additional information, call Blessed Water Country Club at 555-Tha-Club and identify yourself as a BRB U. peon.

Yes, there you have it. I can get a whole 50% discount on those initiation fees so I can join the country club. For a mere $1875 plus the monthly fee, I can go play tennis, socialize, and spend some lazy Sundays sipping some mint juleps. This promotion coming from the same university that recently held a campus laundry sale, had a proclamation on reducing the light bulbs, and told us to get rid of all extra appliances like mini-fridges and to bring our own blankies to work if need to keep warm in our offices. I could not make this shit up no matter how hard I tried. I am willing to bet that Dr. Campus Prez is a member already and that Dr. Provosto Grande (who is a recent hire) is bound to become a member soon. After all, administrators at their level are about the only people who might be able to afford such whoping discounts in this bad economy (or in any economy).

Ah yes, the well-heeled are doing as well ever here in Backwater Rural County. Though not as well if they are giving discounts hoping the riff raff will want to move on up.

The Great Campus Laundry Sale

Tue, 10 Mar 2009 17:51:23 GMT

These are things that I wish I was making up, but I am not. This is actually true. The announcement came in on the campus bulletin board. The names have been changed to protect the not-so-innocent; text slightly changed for better readability, but otherwise it is as it came:

"The Agency of Campus Sports has (a whole bunch of) items for sale. All have been previously used by the Soccer teams (both male and female) and the cheerleaders. This is a small sample list of the selection available.

        Game shorts: medium-xlarge
        Warm-up pants: small-medium
        Warm-up jackets: small-large
        Jerseys-small – xlarge
        Misc. t-shirts
        2 duffle bags-zippers broken

If you are interested in purchasing any of these items please contact Ms. Whatsherface at (the extension number given). All remaining items will be given to some local youth charity."

In plain English, we have a bunch of used-up clothes that not even the local homeless would want, but are trying to make an extra buck or two. After Dr. Campus Prez made the recent proclamation about light bulbs, we need all the money we can get. I am just hoping to the deity of choice that they at least washed them; do note that there is no notation on the announcement that they have been washed, but only previously used. I don't know about you out there, but I have seen soccer matches, and those dudes sure can work up the sweat with all that running around, so on. My favorite item are the duffel bags with the broken zippers. Oh yea, nothing screams school spirit like a duffel bag with all your undies and sweaty towels spilling out because the zipper was broken. By the way, I was not able to find out the actual prices. Maybe they are hoping for bids. I did not call to inquire because I knew if I did I would likely laugh in their faces.

Now, I would suggest that the Agency of Campus Sports needs to get with the 21st century. You don't advertise cheap shit you are clearing off the attic on the campus board. You use E-Bay or Craigslist. Get with the program. Anyhow, if they don't sell, I am sure the young boys and girls from the local youth charity will be thrilled to be getting a bunch of used (gently used? who are we kidding) gym clothes.

Ah yes, local charity at its best here in Backwater Rural County.

And we finally hired some people (well, sort of)

Mon, 23 Feb 2009 15:39:09 GMT

The saga of our hiring spree continues. While we did hire some people for the librarian positions, the saga does not end there. Then again, you folks who stop by my wigwam need to remember that nothing is ever simple here at Backwater Rural Branch (BRB) U. You can read some of the details here. So, here we go. Try to hang on to your hats and feathers for this is complicated.

For openers, the first person we offered one of the entry level jobs to turned us down. That is Ms. Hit-and-Runs, which I discussed in my previous post. Ms. Hit-and-Runs starts at the beginning of next month. She will have reference desk rotation, and she is supposed to be helping out Sensei Girl with some online resource development. Ms. Hit-and-Runs will not have any departmental assignment, so no subject specialist work for her. By the way, did I mention she is not working full-time, but she is still getting paid as if she were? She leaves sometime in July if memory serves me right. But at least we got one librarian in the books by March as Southern Campus Re-Affirmation Process (SCRAP) wanted. She won't be in the books after July, but I am wondering if by then, it won't make a difference. No one seems to worried about the fact we are hiring a temp to cover some bases.
Next, we did hire someone to start this summer. This one candidate is actually pretty good, a young lady out of library school with some experience in reference and instruction. She seems pretty sharp, and as soon as she gets started, we shall endow her with a name here at the journal. As noted, she does not start until the summer, so in a way, we are not really gaining. We are simply breaking even since Ms. Hit-and-Runs leaves us in the summer for an ivory tower in the north lands.
Third, if you have been following the saga, and if not I do urge you follow the link to catch up, do people remember that local candidate who was protected from on high? She is the one who is now known as Ms. Local Clueless. I will give folks one guess who we hired. Yes, we ended up hiring her. Though Ms. Local Clueless is not very prepared in terms of her librarianship skills, nor does she seem to know a whole lot about how a library operates, since she has the protection of every other campus poobah, probably even from the Prince of Darkness himself, the job was offered. I was there for her interview segment. If people have arguments against doing an MLS totally online, Ms. Local Clueless would be the poster girl because one has to wonder what exactly they are teaching in those online classes. She has a minimal sense (as in next to none) of what a reference interview is, and she pretty much has no idea what information literacy is. Those who attended her teaching demonstration say she pretty much has no idea how to teach a library session. And while I am sure that as a departmental secretary (her previous job), she does have a decent service ethic, it does not automatically follow she can be an academic librarian. This woman will basically need a lot of work, training and coaching (to put it mildly). Sure, the position is entry level, but it does not mean we just take someone off the street to do the job. And by the way, guess who gets to do the extra work, training, and coaching to get her up to some semblance of speed. Yes, that would be me. And it's not like my other duties will lessen because of it.

So at the end of the day, we were hiring for three positions, and we got about one and a half. This does mean that we are still one position short, which will likely be hiring for sometime after Ms. Hit-and-Runs leaves for greener pastures. And it will be a third librarian. We were, or rather Boss With a Fist was, hoping we could get a library administrator. However, given that the salary is pretty much a joke (I am not making that up. The last candidate we brought to campus for that, who seemed decent actually, was making almost as much as Boss With a Fist), the position will go unfilled and thus turned into that third entry level librairan job.

Why does it feel like instead of taking two steps forward, we are taking one step forward and three or four steps back?

Kind of makes me feel like this guy:

"Screw her! How many times have I fixed the outside of this succubus? And what changes on the inside? huh? Nothing. You know the definition of madness? When you do the same thing over and over again expecting different results."
--Dr. Christian Troy, from the series Nip/Tuck.

These are insane times indeed.

Another motherfucking primma donna faculty

Wed, 18 Feb 2009 20:49:31 GMT

Just when I think that things may settle down, another motherfucking faculty member who thinks he is a special snowflake (and rules don't apply to him) crawls out of the woodwork like a cockroach. I have been trying to cool off for a while after this, but I just have to let it out someplace because the gall in this sorry asshole's excuse for a conscience is simply outrageous. If I don't let out some steam I may well end up calling him to give him a piece of my mind. In such a case I may end up having to offer my resignation, but I would do so gladly just to call him out on the fact he is a bold-faced liar and a self-entitled backstabber full of shit. Allow me to expand on the matter.

Dr. Mythos Psycho has made a return to the scene. I talked about him previously here (my readers may want to read that post to get some context on the weeding issue). He basically send out an e-mail, one to me as his departmental librarian with copy to Boss With A Fist. Since I have been out of the office most of the day (interviewing yet another candidate for the reference librarian posts we are hiring. If you have read this journal, you know what is happening here in Backwater Rural Branch (BRB) U.). Anyhow, during a break, I checked my e-mail, and Dr. Mythos Psycho's note was there. Here is most of the text, with some changes to protect chickenshit mofos who can't be dignified to take some personal responsibility:

From: Dr. Mythos Psycho,

I would like to get a list with call numbers of the replacement media the library has bought to replace the psychology videotapes which were thrown away in December. I would also like to say that I feel the decision to throw away videotapes which were valuable and painstakingly built up over many years, was a very harmful decision. It has hurt my department's teaching efforts and mine in particular. I was able to rescue some tapes, after I found out about the throwaway by accident, but many others have been lost. I particularly miss the tapes on (specific psychology topics, ommitted here to protect the not so innocent), that I used for my (specific rarely taught) class. It has made me feel that I can't trust the library with anything of value.
I would appreciate any help that you can give me.
Signed, Dr. Mythos Psycho, Unique Faculty Snowflake

I did add the highlighting to that one line, and I changed some wording, but the rest is as it came. Now, let us address the motherfucker's "issues:"

There are no call numbers of replacement media. First, as you know (and so does the rest of the university), there is no specific funding for purchases. You may want to go up the food chain to Dr. Provosto Grande and see if he can give us some funding. In other words, no, we did not buy any replacements.
We have a severe space crunch, which was one of the reasons we did the weeding. Again, have your colleagues go up the food chain and complain so we can get a bigger library. You are also well aware of this. Maybe instead of building some new recreation center for the students, you can help us get a library that adequately meets your needs as well as the needs of your students.
You did not find out by "accident." I specifically sent you, and the rest of your department, an exact list of items that were slated to be weeded out. You and your cronies had ample opportunity to look over the list (about a month and a half) and then claim any items you did not want discarded for yourselves. Yes, we were removing them from our system, but they were yours for the asking. You pretty much chose to ignore the message, which I sent more than once.
The VHS items in question were 20 years old or more. We ran full circulation reports, and for most of the items weeded, they had not circulated even once. Those that did circulate maybe did so once in a range of five to ten years. In other words, your line of "we used them to teach our classes" is full of shit because we can tell if you checked them out or not. You nor your cronies checked the items out. In essence, you are just puffing your chest all of a sudden in order to posture.
We even went so far to ask you and your cronies to give us a list of items you wanted to order on DVD. While you know our funding is tight, when we do get money (usually at the end of the fiscal year, in the summer), we order what we can. If we have a list, I can order things for you even if you yourself are not on campus (because, after all, it is summer, and you and your cronies take off to the four winds to go bungee jumping or to meditate in fucking Tibet and can't be bothered with something as small as providing input for library purchases).
"Videotapes which were valuable and painstakingly built up over many years" is another line of bullshit. This is for the simple reason that, first I did weed stuff that was over 20 years old. I was in high school when some of that stuff came out. Second, you people have not requested anything in recent memory. You can't painstakingly assemble a collection by osmosis. In other words, you have not done your work. I have done much of it for you, even keeping you informed to make sure you had a chance to give input along the way, and you chose to ignore and then bitch. In other words, if you did not do shit when you had the chance, you don't get to bitch about it now. Or if you do bitch like the little sissy you are acting now, you lose any credibility. See the above.
Sending a message about lack of trust in the library to the director is just in bad form. We trusted you to do your part. Do I get to send an e-mail to your dean and tell them I have a total lack of trust in your department or you personally to support the library? Your little missive is just a fine example of passive aggressiveness because you lack the balls to admit that you did not pay attention when you should have.
And by the way, and this is more to your colleagues, asking me when you see me at some event if we kept X or Y VHS is getting annoying. No, I did not memorize the list I sent you. If you did not claim it back then, it probably is gone. And no, I am not a magician to make it reappear. Grow up already, and next time when I ask you to pay attention to a part of the library collection you claim to have a stake in, maybe take some time to open your e-mail and read it.

So, there is the evidence. The bottom line is you had a chance, and you fucking blew it. You ain't getting any sympathy from me. And Boss With a Fist, who will be crafting a response to your message, will certainly be a lot more restrained in her reply. Because if it was me, I would be sending you the unsanitized version of the list. Just because you have three little letters for someone who earned a Piled Higher and Deeper degree does not make you special or above having some common manners and decency.

No love here.

"Now I can read lips, and the name of the defendant is Motherfucker."

--Lewis Black, from The Daily Show.

(Crossposted from to the mofo blog, because this one needs to be shared)

Newsflash! Big Library Association scan of the environment states the obvious.

Tue, 17 Feb 2009 21:03:08 GMT

Once in a blue moon, I actually read the literature of the profession. One has to keep up, or so the library change gurus like to proclaim. So, I finally got around to reading the environmental scan document (it be a PDF, so be warned) that was prepared for ARL's Strategic Plan Review Task Force. Actually, for such a document, it was a pretty easy read. At the risk of sounding flippant, it is pretty much a statement of the obvious. Anyone paying attention to what is happening to academic libraries, and libraries at large, as well as in education, can tell you this (it just may not have the imprimatur of the ARL):

the economy is bad. Said economy then threatens libraries' sustainability.
new paradigms in scholarly publication are coming. However, faculty are still pretty much tied down to the usual tenure line and publish or perish model. In large measure, those faculty could be doing more reform if they had the will to do it.
library collections in print will likely suffer and shrink.
digital collections are good, and more are desired. Pretty much digital initiatives and anything you can put online or in electronic form is the wave of the future, and we need to get in on it pronto.
more collaboration between faculty and librarians is needed.
libraries need to position themselves for rapid change, even if such change may be threatened by lack of funding.

If you wish, you can pretty much skip reading the 20 pages or so in the report now. As I said, at the risk of sounding flippant. But the thing for me is that there is nothing here that is terribly new. Any librarian in the field worth their salt could tell you this. Then again, we should keep in mind this is applicable to the large ARL Libraries (of which Backwater Rural Branch (BRB) U. is not a member). Now there were some things from the scan that caught my eye:

"Radical reconfiguration of research library organizations and services is needed coupled with an increasingly diverse and talented staff to provide needed leadership and technical skills to respond to the rapidly changing environment" (6). This is a challenge given that, for one, hiring freezes are the coming wave. Our state system has already called for and put in a place a "flexible" hiring freeze. One possibility on the leadership front may be to grow your own leadership. It is easier to bring in some entry level librarian, for instance, than it may be to bring in some library administrator when the budgets are tight. If there is a time to consider grooming someone already in place to eventually be able to take more leadership roles, this may be the time. Of course, this idea is pretty much out of the question. We want an outsider with close to a decade in administrative experience to come work in some backwater rural town at very minimal pay. The last candidate we interviewed for that administrative job we have advertised makes at his current job about as much as our library director. No, I am not making that up. And Dr. Provosto Grande pretty much said we are not increasing the pay rate on that position. So, we are not moving toward a more diverse staff any time soon.
"Budget reductions will have substantial impact on library collecting, at least in the nearer term of the planning cycle. These will present opportunities as well as threats" (7). This is pretty much business as usual (in other words, all together now: "DUH!"). We already know that as journal subscriptions continue to rise at obscene rates other parts of the collections will suffer or be further reduced. In our case, add the fact that Dr. Campus Prez has pretty much said he is not interested in funding anything for the library that involves books, and you get an idea of the emerging picture.
"Libraries will collaborate with faculty in developing new models" (8). That is if you can get the faculty to even listen to you. In our case, faculty here is notorious, along with the administration, to implement all sorts of measures without any library input. It is common for us to learn of have that affect us going into place way after the fact. In fact, this was something that as of this morning Boss With a Fist was commenting on. Because many departments here may be going for their accreditation, for instance, but it never occurs to them to check if the library has to be able to meet their needs as well until the agency literally busts them for having a library that is not funded or equipped to handle certain needs. Example: why do you think we are on a hiring spree? We got busted for being understaffed, and money suddenly appeared for hiring. Well, some money appeared.
Collaboration with campus units is certainly something important and something I would agree on. However, the poaching of library space for other campus departments, because they think we are not using it, is not right. And sadly, it is a trend ARL sees as coming: "Main library buildings may come under increased pressure to accept new tenants and services ('space wars'). Libraries will need to counter with strategies to demonstrate a capacity for supporting research, teaching, and learning, at times in partnership with library-preferred tenants whose service to students and faculty complements their own" (17). I find that term, "library-preferred tenants," to be particularly cute. Here, I would say that about half of the library building is poached by a few tenants, some of which are tangetially related to the library. And with some recent campus construction, we even have at least one big shot VP who moved her offices here, making us lose two classrooms (not that it matters, since we did not control the classrooms anyways, but still). Even with the construction getting done eventually, odds of the ones who came in "temporarily" leaving are next to non-existent. I give myself better odds of winning the Powerball than seeing those folks leave. And the ones who were already here are pretty much staying put. Here at old BRB U., the space wars are pretty much trench warfare. And yes, Boss With a Fist does have various plans of space utilization, in case anybody out there wants to say that I am just complaining. Yes I am, and yes, we have plans in place. If only those poachers would leave, say, to those new spaces in the new construction they claim they are making for better administrative offices and meeting spaces? Would be nice.
But the big lesson is to indeed have a plan. It is also crucial to document everything. Do you have crowded computer labs and students standing in line waiting for long periods of time? Take photos and jot down dates. Are you books pretty much falling apart? Same thing, and get the students and faculty to be the ones to gripe about it. Administration will not listen to the library, but rile up some faculty about the library not having the materials they need for their precious research, or worse, the threat of accreditation, and shit hits the fan. On the one hand, I hate the idea of having to basically work to accumulate ammunition, so to speak, but one does what one has to do.
The sad thing is that libraries are seen as logical learning spaces on campuses, and yet, in our case at least, that is not quite the case. Sure, students want more learning spaces; they tell us on surveys and in person. But it is not a high priority to the administration. They do want books, but we suffer the embarassment of having to show them books that are 50 years old or more in many subject areas. The exception, to an extent, are some programs which recently got their accreditation, since we diverted funding from the rest of the library for them. But overall, we are still fairly short. And while we do have a pretty good array of databases, there are some basics still lacking. In essence, there is a significant dissonance between what the students want and need and what the administration is willing and able to fund( mostly a matter of will). While money may be tight, possibilities are open; they are just not taken.

And that is that for now. I don't necessarily enjoy being snarky. Ok, actually I do, but it saddens me to realize that a lot of these reports are pretty much meaningless exercises. They are meaningless because at the end of the day a lot of the needed changes to make things better are a matter of will. And a lot of administrators simply lack the will or the insight or both to do what is right by their students and academic communities.

And so it goes.

We are not exactly hiring the best and brightest here

Sat, 14 Feb 2009 17:29:46 GMT

The continuing saga of the done deal hiring moves along here at Backwater Rural Branch (BRB) U. I detailed our woes with hiring some librarians at gunpoint, so to speak here. We found a couple of librariant candidates who are semi-decent, and we offered the jobs. Well, Boss With a Fist did the offering; the rest of us are pretty much along for the ride. However, we have pretty bad rejection rate and out of 5 offers, we got one acceptance. The young lady will be joining the cast of our library wigwam next June. Stay tuned for that. In the meantime, things are not getting better. We still have to hire two more positions, and the outlook is grim.

First, the first candidate we offered the job to, who is a local, turned us down. She is a wandering scholar, you know the part-timers the campus hires when they don't want to hire an actual tenure line professor. She happens to have her library degree, and she actually did pretty well when she came to interview. However, after the offer, I found out from Boss With a Fist that the young lady got a big, big scholarship to go pursue a doctorate up someplace out of state, and she was not taking the job. So you would think we would move on and go down the list to keep interviewing to fill the job, right? Well, yes and no.

We need to have a new librarian "in the books" by the first of March come hell or high water. It's what SCRAP (Southern Campus Re-Affirmation Process) apparently has decreed, and Dr. Provosto Grande has made it clear we better have somebody. So, what new shady arrangement are we making? Simple, we are hiring that wandering scholar, let's call her Ms. Hit and Runs, on a temporary basis. Allow me to break this down for you because I am barely figuring it out myself. Ms. Hit and Runs, since she does have a library degree, will be hired to work from the start of March until July or so, when she leaves for the hallowed halls of some other ivory tower (which by the way is way more prestigious than BRB U. can ever hope for). Ms. Hit and Runs will only work about 20 hours or so in the library, since she is still teaching her regular class loads. Therefore, all she can really do is do reference desk work, and maybe some BI work. No work with academic departments since she won't have time to develop such work. But we do get a librarian "in the books" in case SCRAP comes back asking. In other words, no one is thinking about what may work best for us, but on covering their asses. Oh, and by the way, Ms. Hit and Runs's academic department, which was paying for 3 classes, now only has to pay for one because we are picking up the rest of her tab, so to speak, by hiring her. So, not only are we paying her in full to work part-time, we are also paying her to work in a different department of BRB U. Did you folks get all that?

I do hope you folks managed to figure Ms. Hit and Runs's story because we have to move on to the next mess. Second, if you look back at the link to my previous post, I mentioned a lady who blew her phone interview. Let us call her Ms. Local Clueless since she is a campus secretary (or works on some campus administrative office) who got her library degree online. Ms. Local Clueless lack of preparation and sense of being informed revealed during her phone interview pretty much reinforced every negative image we all have of online library degrees: they give no practical experience, no contact with peers or professors, and questionable content of variable quality. After her phone session, we were left wondering just what the fuck they taught her in whatever library school she did her online degree in since she could not even define a basic philosophy of reference service. Now, usually when you have a poor candidate in a phone interview, most workplaces simply remove said poor candidate from their hiring list and move on to the next candidate down the list. That is what normal reasonable people do. What are we doing here at old BRB U.? We are actually giving her a campus interview/library visit, and from the looks of it, unless she suddenly snaps and begins to snort cocaine during her presentation (which might actually enhance her poor skills), she will likely get hired. Now, allow me to expand on this form of nepotism because the more one thinks about it, the less it makes sense to reasonable people out there.

Ms. Local Clueless is pretty much protected from on high. The princes of darkness, so to speak, watch out for her. Dr. Provosto Grande and Dr. Campus Prez (if I recall, she works in his office, but I think she just works for some other VP) seem to think the woman can literally turn water into wine and raise the dead. That is the actual language Boss With a Fist used when Boss With a Fist came to my office early in the morning a few days ago to deliver the bad news. Now, when your boss shows up in your office early in the morning, closes the door behind the boss, and then says to you, "I am the Boss, and I am doing this" without telling you right away what "this" is, you figure either you are getting fired or laid off, or the boss is going to ask you do something you may not like, which may or not border on barely legal or tangentially ethical or borderline moral. It turns out it's door number two. Because it turns out that the big poobahs pretty much laid down the smackdown on Boss With a Fist regarding Ms. Local Clueless. Ms. Local Clueless is so wonderful, and she does such good work for us, and blah blah, that we just could not see it during the phone interview. Therefore, give her a full interview, and damn it, hire her already before we smite thee. That is pretty much what Boss With a Fist was told, and Boss With a Fist was now passing it on to us, actually going one librarian at a time. What could I say? I knew this did not come from Boss With a Fist. In a way, boss's hands are just as tied as mine, if not more so; Boss With a Fist has to put up with the poobah clowns. I just work here. So Ms. Local Clueless will be coming over to do an in-person interview. I will have to go have lunch with her along with Sensei Girl and Boss With a Fist (since the positions we are hiring are primary in public services, I get to meet all the candidates and spend some extra time with them). And I will have to smile and be polite and, in the words of Boss With a Fist, "try to keep an open mind." This is the kind of shit that, if the economy was not so bad, I would consider resigning over and trying to find some place with a little more ethics. But we shall see. Anyhow, she is already scheduled in. Stay tuned, this is not ending just yet.

Oh, and did I mention that those new positions get a starting salary higher than mine, and higher than a couple other librarians? Yep, not only are we hiring questionable people, but we are paying them more than the actual people who work here. Not to mention that, in my case at least, I had some serious competition when I was hired. But the salary thing, slightly offensive as it may be, is not the big point for me. It is not bad enough to simply say, "raise my wages now or I am out the door." I will actually write on that later. What really drives the point home is something that the Relic Huntress said in a small meeting we had after we interviewed the last candidate for last week. She said, "hiring someone like that (referring to another poor candidate) would be offensive to some people in this room given we are paying them more." While Relic Huntress was being a bit of a drama queen as she can often be, this time she did make a point, albeit a sore one; the administration is basically saying that the quality of librarians here does not matter since they are willing to just put anyone in the position plus pay them more than those who have earned their stripes and actually have some qualifications. In my case at least, I can proudly put up my CV next to anyone's, and my references will certainly speak for me. Hey, if you need a good instruction librarian, let me know. I may send my CV and cover letter your way. You won't know it's me per se (I am not mentioning this journal lol), but you will get a good hard working librarian. Seriously though, this basically does not pass the smell test. And the sad thing is, it is not over yet because even if we do hire Ms. Local Clueless, we still have one more position open (our administrator search never panned out, which is another post), plus when Ms. Hit and Runs leaves, her position is open two, leaving us just about where we started needing two positions.

Sisyphus had it easy. He just had to deal with a boulder. Stay tuned folks. More to come.