Dances With Books

The "speakers mistreatment" meme tends to surface every spring around the time conference season kicks in. While I may have an opinion or two on the matter, it's not like anyone would want to listen to an actual librarian in the trenches who has no funding or hope to go to some fancy schmanzy library conference. At the end of the day, the solution is simple: treat your speakers with some dignity and respect. And if you invited them to your function, then at the very least, give them the day they present for free. This should be a no-brainer, but apparently people can come up with all sorts of nimby-pamby excuses not to do it. It is a matter of will: if you think this is important, you (conference organizers) can find a way to make it happen. And it will take a few speakers to simply say, "we are not putting up with this shit." Pure and simple. Otherwise, we will keep getting this stupid meme every year. Since I have been blogging here, I have seen this current every time around this time of year. Never fails, like clockwork. Maybe it is time people decided to do something about, have some guts, instead of just writing about it yet again.

But what do I know? I am just a small town academic librarian.

I actually got the challenge finished with plenty of time to spare this month. Using a graphic novel to meet it did help, though for a moment I was worried that ILL would not get me the book on time. The May challenge was Mother. This was not exactly a topic I found appealing, and there are other things in May that, were it me, I would have chosen. For example, choosing Asian Pacific American Month as prompt could have opened all sorts of possibilities in terms of history and literature. But that is just me. Anyhow, in my own rebellious way, I picked something with "mother" in the title:

The Punisher, vol. 3: Mother Russia.

The book, once I started it, just hooked me to the very end. It is written by Garth Ennis, known for writing the Preacher series, so I knew I would be in good hands. The plot moves along pretty swiftly. When Nick Fury needs someone for what seems a suicide mission to retrieve a viral agent, he hires the one man no one else would think about: The Punisher. There is a little girl involved in the plot as well, which added a nice touch to the tale. The comic does come with an "explicit material" label; this is mostly for some tough language, and there is some graphic violence like in any other action story. Overall, I will be looking for other volumes in this Punisher series. As for mother, well, it was Mother Russia. Fans of the Punisher will definitely enjoy this, as will fans of Ennis.

If readers have been reading the journal here recently, they know I had a couple of posts on my struggles to put a display case for Asian Pacific AmericanHeritage Month. I switched over and tried a different topic. Not that I fared that much better, but I managed to pull some materials together a la MacGyver. It's amazing what you can do when you have some construction paper, some glue, and you use a few government documents and think tank items off the Internet. Anyways, for Older Americans Month, I managed to find three books, including one children's book (that actually had a cover and could be displayed). The rest I supplemented with some official proclamation documents (the Presidential one, and a state one I discovered), and then a sampling of documents highlighting issues of interest to older Americans. By the way, if anybody knows of any library hiring a GovDocs librarian, let me know. Because I am discovering that I can find a lot more stuff very often from government and NGO sources than from actual books. That is mostly because the stuff is online and accessible. And keep in mind, this is pretty much on the fly because heaven forbid I get some time to put it together before the month is on top of me. Yes, I put display themes on a calendar. Whether I get to put the displays up on time is usually a separate matter.

Oddly, going back to the Asian-Americans issue, we had a few children's books that could be somewhat related. While they are mostly on Chinese and (some) Japanese stuff, they are better than nothing I guess. Apparently, there is nothing else in Asia besides China and Japan, with a smattering of Korea. I have to ask Sensei Girl, who is the liaison for the kiddy books why we seem to have some more diverse items in her area. I get the feeling a good number of the stuff is donated or comes from conference vendors. You know? When you go to a library conference, and you take every sample book you can get? School librarians usually do this, followed by public, but I am sure poor academic places like mine do it too. That would answer the question given our frozen book budget. Anyhow, what I may end up doing is putting up some kind of children and YA reading display using some of those titles. Hey, she did me a favor, I might as well not waste the effort. I am still miffed that an academic library is so lacking on materials about an ethnic group (actually we lack stuff on just about any ethnic group), but we move on.

"If you don't have the right equipment for the job, you just have to make it yourself." - MacGyver
(quote found here).

Additional note (later in day): I spoke too soon. The so-called children's books (for the Asian Pacific American display idea) are so old that it is not even funny. Stay tuned because I plan to try to make it sound funny anyways later on.

"I'm only laughing on the outside / My smile is just skin deep / If you could see inside I'm really crying / You might join me for a weep. " -The Joker (from Batman film).

I am in the middle of writing a post on a recent poetry reading we had on campus. The pretty famous local poet  visited, and I was able to take some good notes, which I am now trying to distill. I have two goals in mind: a short account to put in the library's official blog, with links to some photosS of the event I took, and the longer account for my personal record, which will go into my professional blog. As I am doing that, I come to the realization that there is something I wish my colleagues, and this includes my boss, would understand. Writing takes time. For some reason, they all have the impression that a blog post is just something you do in five minutes while you are doing twenty other things. While announcements and notices can certainly be whipped out in five minutes, a good report or account of an event, or even a decent post on a research technique or tip takes time. It takes some degree of planning. It may take more than one draft to get it right. As a result, I need the time to be able to do the writing, and this is just one example. Then there is the newsletter for the library, and a few other things. I am just saying. 

Going back to the lack of books saga. I went on and did some searching. First, I took four different book lists, which contain what may be considered core items. What did I find? Two juvenile books. That was it, out of about 50 give or take. So, my next step was to just walk to the call number area and have a look myself. Because I need to add that our OPAC sucks: big time. I know, saying the OPAC sucks is the past time in Librarian Blogger Ghetto, but mine really sucks. Type in an author and title combo, and you get neither. So, what did I find? I only found two semi-useful items (aside from the two juvenile books, which I have to go pull off the shelf). And I also found a few items that, if I were to put them on an exhibit case and some Asian American came by, he or she might actually break into the case, take the books and beat the shit out of me with them. And I could not blame them. The stuff is embarrassing. So, let us take a look, shall we? By the way, record links to WorldCat to protect the not-so-innocent (in spite of me being tempted to send letters to local editors and a few education news publications):

The semi-useful:

• Asian Americans: Contemporary Trends and Issues. Do note that, a bit over ten years old, it may not exactly be as contemporary. At least the cover looks somewhat nice, if a bit sparse.
  
• Strangers from a different shore: a History of Asian Americans. At least it is the updated and revised edition, still ten years old. The softcover does have a nice cover, making it at this point, the only book that might be useful for a display.
  

The not useful (or, I wish the Earth would open up and swallow me now so I am not seen with these books in an academic library):

• Asians in America: Filipinos, Koreans and East Indians. Initially, the title looks nice enough. The problem? Oh, you mean besides the fact it was written in 1977 is not a problem? Read some of the stuff inside it. Not exactly very contemporary.
  
• East Across the Pacific: Historical and Sociological Studies of Japanese Immigration & Assimilation. This book, written in 1972, is just begging to fly off the shelf.
• Japanese-Americans: The evolution of a subculture. Hide the children and lock the doors: those underground Japanese-American people might come around. Folks, this is one step away from putting stuff on display about those devious, slanty-eyed people. Actually, her in Backwater Rural Town, they might actually appreciate that (which is scarier than the book still being on our shelves). And by the way, this book is part of the ever popular "Ethnic Groups in American Life Series" from Prentice-Hall. They also feature this little number, my personal favorite, so to speak: White Protestant Americans: From National Origins to Religious Group. Because nothing says ethnic like WASPs. Curiously enough, we do not have that little book about WASPs.
  

• The Japanese American Community: A Three-Generation Study. Apparently, somebody way before my time liked sociological studies. This one is a bit more recent. Just 1981. What else launched in 1981? MTV folks, and they actually had music back then. Does anybody even remember MTV used to play music? Just giving you folks some perspective.
  
• And last, but certainly not least: Japanese Americans: Oppression and Success. Now, how long ago was it that the U.S. Government finally apologized for that little incident? You know, the internment thing? That happened in 1988 (the apology, not the internment); Ronald Reagan was president. This book came out before that. Again, some perspective.
  

Nothing like some contemporary works and some up-to-date information to celebrate the accomplishments of our Asian Pacific American friends. Pardon the language. . . .actually, fuck the language: I am saying it. This is the shit I have to deal with on a regular basis, and the fact our administration has no clue, let alone any shame, simply drives me up the wall. Now, if I was already burned out, I'd probably put those books out with some origami and call it a display. That's my problem: I still fucking care. My life would be a hell of a lot easier if I did not, but what can I say? I should know better by now?

"We dance for laughter, we dance for tears, we dance for madness, we dance for fears, we dance for hopes, we dance for screams, we are the dancers, we create the dreams."

And so I go on.

It is not very often that I feel the need to jump in here and simply blog in order to vent. Not with the urgency I had to get on now. Because this is one of those moments when I say to myself, "somebody just shoot me now (and put me out of my misery)." Because I am expected to somehow pull out miracles out of my hat without any resources. Not that anyone gives a shit when I perform said miracle, but that is another story. Please allow me to explain.

As part of my duties as outreach librarian, I am in charge of the library displays. Like most libraries, we try to put a thematic display, especially for monthly holidays like Black History Month or Asian Pacific American Heritage Month, which is what I am struggling to get together. Yes, I know, it is halfway through the first week of May, and the display is not up yet. And while I could go on another rant about how I have to be flying by the seat of my pants to put those things up, that is another story. What is pissing me off now is what goes inside the display. Now, libraries usually put out some books on their displays highlighting the theme in question. I try to do that, but unfortunately, to say our collection is lacking is to be polite. I just went to the reference area to see if I could find a nice guide to Asian American culture or resources. And I could not find a single one. To say I was fucking embarrassed is, again, to put it politely. Now, you may say, maybe you should order some books. To which I would reply, maybe I should if I had the fucking funds to order them. I think I have mentioned previously that here at Backwater Rural Branch U. the book budget is mostly nonexistent. And while Boss with a Fist has said there may be some money left over for books (after using up the rest of the budget on the basics, you  know, like keeping the lights on), I am not holding my breath. For one, Antiquarian Babe is already lined up with a list longer than my two arms for the history subject area (her area), and since, from what I see, the concept of equitable distribution seems to be a lost concept here, Antiquarian Babe will probably get most the stuff (I am told she does anyhow. It's a lost cause). But even if, by some miracle, the Antiquarian Babe did not hog all the remaining dough, we need to replace so much stuff (and not just reference) that it would be like trying to put chewing gum on a dam that is about to blow.

My problem is that we are supposed to use our displays to promote things like, oh, I don't know, reading. I don't think you can do much of that when the books you find on your shelves are pretty much items that not even a museum would want (yea, they are that old). Unattractive, coverless editions, some of the yellowing are not exactly going to get readers to  your library. And while I can put a few other items in the cases to supplement (often items I bring from home, since we don't have a lot here either), books would be nice. Just a thought.

Now, some of you may say, "why don't you go tell this to someone at your workplace?" Well, because I already know the answers. Boss With a Fist will say, "Type up or make a list and submit it to the Guy Who Gets Stuff." When Guy Who Gets Stuff gets my list, it will get put in the pile of perpetual ignorance (where the last list I submitted has ended up. I don't even remember what the heck it was I asked for back then. And I am willing to bet he probably could not find the list if I asked him for it) and thus mostly forgotten. Rinse and repeat. I hate complaining. I am the type of guy who, when you see a problem, I go out and solve it. But I can't solve some things if I don't have the resources to do so. Last time I checked, that little rule in physics about not being able to create matter (or destroy it) was still in effect. Sure, you can still rearrange matter's form, but rearranging only goes so far.

Anyhow, I have a display to go put together. You'd be amazed what I can put together with some spit, construction paper, cardboard (recycled from old boxes), gum, and duct tape. It would make MacGyver proud. Not that any of my colleagues would notice. There is the final catch. An empty display case equals a phone call to my desk. A filled display case? No reaction. Go figure.

And the band played on.

These challenges keep getting tougher on me. It is not so much the reading matter; it's the fact that work has gotten busier and busier, leaving little time to read. I barely got this book within the month. As for other stuff I was reading, it pretty much went down the wayside, so I am hoping once finals get done, that work slows down, and I can get some reading time again. Anyhow, the April challenge was the theme of beauty. This was a bit tough for me because, to be honest, I did not find any of the suggestions particularly appealing. So, I decided to try something completely different. I went with a comic book compilation (or graphic novel). My choice was The Incredible Hulk: Beauty and the Behemoth. You see, it has "beauty" in the title, plus it is sort of a play on the theme of Beauty and the Beast. This collection basically brings together comics from the Hulk series that show or focus on the love relationship, tempestuous at times, between David Banner and Betty Ross. I will admit that, while I am an avid reader of comics and graphic novels, The Hulk is not one of my favorites. I would usually not pick Hulk titles up. However, this one is actually pretty good, giving readers an overview not just of the relationship, but of the evolution of the characters over time. As with similar compilations, simply seeing the art style evolve over time is interesting. Anyhow, a good way for me to meet the challenge, and it is a collection I think most fans of The Hulk or Marvel readers will like. By the way, I had to order it via Interlibrary Loan, since my local library did not have it. But well worth it. I think depending on the topic, I may pick other graphic novels. I do hope the topics get better in the challenge. This was a bit hard for me, then again, if it was easy, it would not be a challenge. 

I am always amused when someone give the usual line of "if you want to innovate, just make it happen" or one of its variants. So, today I came across this list of the "Top 100 Lamest Excuses for Not Innovating." This is the kind of stuff that a lot of the Library 2.0 people would point at; in fact, I am a bit surprised it has not been picked up in the librarian ghetto of the blogosphere yet. Anyhow, while there are some really lame excuses, there are a few that no matter how much wishful thinking you do, are symptoms of bad institutional culture, bad conditions, etc., some of which peons like me simply have no control. Allow to pick out a few items from the list as examples:

• Number 1: "I don't have the time." 2.0 people love to say that, if it is important, you will make the time for it. Unfortunately, last time I looked, the day still only has 24 hours. When you are overwhelmed with work, and none of the other things will go away, just saying "make the time" does not cut it. Sometimes you REALLY don't have the time. So deal.
  
• Number 2: "I can't get the funding." Unless you can make money grow on trees, this is pretty valid. I will use Backwater Rural Branch U. as an example. Our book budget has been frozen for the last 3 years (actually, I think it is closer to five, but who is counting?). It is not likely we will get any money soon because the higher ups in the institution simply do not see it as a priority for the library. Add to that that the state legislature has been pretty much slashing higher education funding, and you can see where this is leading. Again, very often, "I can't get the funding" means exactly that. I want to see one of those innovators try to tell me, if it is something that needs money, how the money will actually appear. And yes, I know sometimes you can do some things for free. We are talking here in terms of it actually needing funding.
  
• Number 23 is interesting: "My home life will suffer." In my case, this is simple. If it means I have to put my family on the sacrificial altar, it ain't happening. And if you ain't up with that, that's too fucking bad. This one goes along with Number 53, "I won't have any time left for my family," to which I give the same answer.
  

Actually, if you read the list closely, a lot of the items repeat themselves. They are just phrased slightly different (see 23 & 53 as an example). This list is probably about ten to fifteen items long, but the authors chose to stretch it to make a cool list of 100, which I am sure sounds more impressive. However, once you read into it, there is not that much substance. And in some cases, the excuse may well be there for a reason. I am not saying to stop working on innovating. If it is a bullshit excuse, then by all means, hop to it and innovate. But if it is not, come up with an actual solution other than "if you think it, it can happen."

Note to Effing Librarian (5/5/08): I see you did use the list on your blog. For readers, see his (I think effing is a he) here. And if we slightly rewrote some of those excuses with a bit more sexy language, the laughs would not end. For example: "I am too new around here" for the guy or gal who has never done the orgy thing before. "I won't be able to get enough resources" could be the fellow in need of some Viagra whose bottle is empty and needs another prescription like pronto. "My home life will suffer." You bet it will buster unless the wife approves and/or you approve of her in the orgy. "It's against my religion." May I suggest a new religion or none at all? There are plenty of religions where orgies are just fine. You get the idea folks.

Hmm, so it turns out that librarian in CA was fired for actual job-related reasons. One has to admit this is a bit of a Catch-22. I am a believer in transparency and being direct. I also believe in documenting everything because, in this world, you always have to cover your ass. It was one of the first lessons I learned when I became an educator: document everything. You never know when you will need it, but need it you will. So, on the one hand, I wondered if they actually had a reason to fire her. On the other hand, there is the part of the catch about protecting the privacy of the person fired. In her case, her right not to be embarrassed when it turns out she was a less than stellar employee. The lesson? If nothing else, to hold back judgment as long as possible. There is always another side waiting to rear its head. But having said that, I do still find it disturbing that a supervisor would send her to "warn" the child porn viewer instead of calling the cops.

This is another of those Catch-22 things. On the one hand, librarians should be all about protecting privacy of their patrons. I do not disagree with that, and I certainly do my best to defend it for my patrons. But when it comes to an illegal action, and especially one so harmful as is child  porn, I think one has to draw the line. Problem of course is we can't just be looking over people's shoulders. It's not part of our job, and it should not be. Thus, the catch. If I had my way, privacy screens and let them (the patrons) mind their own business. In the end, porn (of the legal variety) is legal. Finding it offensive has nothing to do with whether it is legal or not, and if it is legal, guess what, people can actually look at it in peace. If you find it offensive, guess what, don't look at it. Thus my idea of having privacy screens. Users do what they want, and the people who just can't help to look (notice how often those offended seem to be looking to be offended?) won't have anything to look at.

Just a thought.

My few friends know that I rarely like to talk about the issues of librarianship. Specifically, I stay away from the hot button topics of the librarian blog ghetto (LBG). It is not lack of interest, I assure you. I simply don't feel like adding to the echoes given the LBG's tendency to overkill any topic. However, once in a while I cannot help but wonder if our profession has a death wish, or they are just too dumb not to point the gun at their own feet and pull the trigger. Case in point.

The whole fuss over that librarian in California that was fired for reporting an alleged viewer of child pornography to the police. Find the story here and here. The story has made the rounds of the LBG. I made a comment at the Librarian.net blog when the blogger there made the following remark in her post: "I think even talking about child pornography issues online is difficult and complicated. . . ." The comment itself is here, but the bottom line is that child porn is not difficult or complicated as an issue. It is a crime. It is illegal. It should not be tolerated. Simple as that. Using the "there are privacy issues" claim to keep hands off and say we can't know for sure is not good enough. And before someone says, "how do you know it was child porn?", I will say use some common sense and some judgment. If you have to ask that question, you are probably part of the problem.

Before I go on, some disclosure. And this is not new. I am very much a live and let live sort of person. You like the legal variety of porn, that is fine by me. Besides, at the end of the day, it is none of my business. It's legal, and you want to read it. I will certainly defend your right to read it. I will not defend said right if you are doing it in a public space like a library where everyone else can see it because at that point you are creating a hostile environment for others who may not want to see it. Before you yell at me, "but hey, they can go look elsewhere," I will say, "true," but you certainly don't have to be showing it off or bragging about it either. Here is the catch: the minute you open that computer screen in a public spot you lose your expectation of privacy. You cannot say with a straight face you expected privacy on a public terminal where anyone can walk by. So, if you get caught doing something illegal, you should be facing the consequences.

The problem for me is that ALA and the like is that ALA has the position that parents are responsible for their own children and what they read or find online(I tried finding where I read that, but could not. The closest I got from the ALA website was here, their privacy resources page. By the way, if librarians have not read it, they should. ). Notice how that statement works: parents are responsible for their own children. It means they do not get to go and try to dictate what everyone else's children read. That is the business of the other parent, not yours. This is how you deal with the busybodies who go out of their way to find something offensive.

Anyhow, what am I am trying to aim at: the problem comes in when the professional organization either does not take a position or simply makes it look like they are defending a pedophilic pervert. A comment at Librarian.net by Brian Herzog says something worth thinking. Though I disagree with his and another commenter on the notion of "keeping procedures," his point is that, when his turn came to make a decision, he actually exercised some judgment. And that is the key: you have to make a judgment call. Are there times you will have to call the cops? Yes. You should do so when necessary. How do you know when? You are trained professional; use that professional training to make the judgment call. The lady in California may have been a library worker (i.e. non-degreed), but I am willing to bet she had enough experience and training to make a reasonable call. That she was not empowered by her supervisors who prefer to cover their asses is wrong. If the allegation of what was being viewed is true, and she reported it, then the supervisors trying to cover themselves behind the cowardly veil of "she was on probation; we do not have to explain her firing" simply makes them look like they prefer to have a child porn user in their midst. And therein lies the problem.

Every time the profession comes out as defending the rights of some pervert (yes, anyone promoting child porn in any way is a pervert. Notice I say "child porn"), we end up looking like idiots to say the least. Every time someone in the library profession, in the zeal to protect privacy says something that even appears to defend some pedophile, we end up alienating the people we are supposed to serve and who actually pay our salaries. If parents end up saying they can't take their children to the  library anymore in fear of who may be lurking on the public computers and looking at who knows what, you have a problem in your library. Not only a problem in your library, but a larger public relations problem. Multiply the problem by other locations, and you are basically shooting yourself in the foot. When votes for new bonds for the library come up, if this problem is seen as a big one, you probably will not get your vote. What politician wants to appear to support a place that coddles pedophiles? And notice that a lot of this is appearance. I am sure the majority of librarians, even the ones at ALA, are not people who would promote children exploitation. But when they make a statement that seems to promote just that, that is where the trouble comes in. Unless we take strong positions and say that we will not tolerate child pornography in any way, shape, or form, and we say it unequivocally and without hesitation or waffling, we are simply digging our own professional graves. Herzog's comment mentions an example of a picture of a child peeing in a pond (part of a top fountains list. It's a humorous thing). He, smartly, knew that was not child porn, and I think most people would too. Those who say that privacy issues would not let us know or "who decides" are not giving enough credit to those who have common sense. Taking Herzog's example above, anyone saying that is child porn is probably one of the aforementioned busybodies looking to be offended. Either that, or they need to get out more and lose their repressive closemindedness (but that is another post).

In the end, unless we take some firm positions, we are just burying ourselves. I don't know about other librarians, but I certainly don't want people to say I work at a place that subsidizes a pedophile's hobby.

P.S. The Annoyed Librarian, one of my favorite blogs, posted on the story. Her blog (I think it's a she) attracted a lot of comments, which are worth a look.

This young lady approaches the reference desk, and she wants to plug in her cellphone in one of the plugs under my desk. I tell her gently that I can't allow that (there are a bunch of wires under there; she would have to unplug something else). She was ok with it. It's what she did next that has me wondering about the intelligence level of some people.

She walked over to a small area we have that has soft seating. There is a column to one side, and a wall to the other that forms a sort of little alcove. There is a plug in the wall there. She plugged her cell there. That is not so much the issue. The issue is the fact that:

1. She plugged it and actually left the phone on the floor. She plugged it, and she left it there to go back to the computer lab. She is close enough she can see it, but she is not within reach. In other words, someone fast could simply yank it and run off with it.
   
2. She did not even push it close to the wall. The wire is out as is the phone in the middle of the floor. People do walk through there, and it is a small phone. See what I am leading to? Just take one innocent patron walk by and "crunch." Bye bye phone. She did not seem the least bit concerned.
   

Initially, I wanted to warn her, but then I thought better. Not because I am mean. Because if she is actually willing to take the risk with her cellphone to put in on the floor in the middle of an area where people walk, and not worry about it getting stepped on, who am I to say anything? Ay caramba.

(X posted to library_mofo )

I am barely getting through these challenges. Part of my problem is that I often read more than one thing at the same time. Of course, that is my Clark Kent who reads the other stuff. Anyhow, for the March BAM Challenge, as promised, I read Stephen King's On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft. The first part of the book is basically an autobiography. Then he delves into the craft itself. What I like about the book is King's plainspoken style. Reading it is like listening to him tell stories and speak about what it is he does. And as he speaks, so he writes. I mean, you learn to go right down to the bones. Not to have too much narration. To use details. He tells us how to have a toolbox for writing and what we should have in it. His advice on grammar is simple and direct. Heck, we probably could have done without a lot of the stuff in high school. Just get to the basics. Sure, you need vocabulary, but you build it as you read. That is important: to continue reading. In the end, I think this is much of the essence, when he writes: "If you want to be a writer, you must do two things above all others: read a lot and write a lot. There's no way around these two things that I am aware of, no shortcut" (145). However, before you are tempted to simply read that line and dismiss the book, Stephen King does have a lot of other insights. More importantly, for me at least, this is a book you can linger on. Read a bit here, a bit there. Come back and revisit.

I came across this post written by Alexander Kjerulf, "Top 5 Reasons Why 'The Customer is Always Right' is Wrong," and I knew I had to share it with people. For one, it goes along nicely with Reason #4 I Will Never Be Library Director. But the post also made me remember the time that the Public Works Minister back at Bootstrap Metro preferred to side with some cantankerous patron who just refused to obey the rules of the library. The PWM was very much into "the customer is always right." And Ms. Cantakerous exemplifies why the customer is not always right. I am not even going to consider the issue of taking care of your employees and making sure they are happy. I think that should be self-evident. Instead, here is something else to think. From Mr. Kjerulf's post:

• "It gives abrasive customers an unfair advantage." That is his second reason on the list. He goes on to write: "Also, it means that abusive people get better treatment and conditions than nice people. That always seemed wrong to me, and it makes much more sense to be nice to the nice customers to keep them coming back." Let's be honest: who would you rather have come back to your business or your library? This was something that Ms. Cantankerous, who was not an actual student but a visitor, threatened me with, the "I won't be coming back" line. To which I would have replied, "by all means, keep on walking." I did not say it, but I was certainly tempted to. I did use that reply when the Public Works Minister used that same line while she was chiding me for not being "customer service oriented" after the lady proceeded to belittle, abuse verbally, and overall cause a scene. I can certainly do without such people. Thus there is the reason I will never be library director: I just don't take that shit, and I don't think any employees or workers under me should either.
  
• "It results in worse customer service." That is his fourth reason. Here is where he talks about taking care of your own. Worth reading. This is what my previous supervisors failed to grasp. When you don't take care of your workers, they get the message they are not valued. It is a negative chain from there.
  

Overall, this is a lesson libraries should be learning and applying as well. In public libraries, when you get the one mofo who is simply unreasonable and rude to an extreme, it is time to fire him and let him go. Is she griping her taxes pay for the library? You can tell her they may pay for the library, but not for her abuse and send her packing. Does he say he will stop writing a check to the Friends' fund or such? Tell him he can write his check to someone else. Libraries and their administrators need to get their priorities straight. Sure, we aim to provide the best customer service possible. It does not mean the workers have to put up with abusive behavior, harassment or unreasonable demands. You should not be afraid to tell someone that, if they don't like it, they can go to another library or the local bookstore. See how much they put up with her bad behavior at the bookstore.

Once again, it's common sense. But don't mention this in front of the L2 people or those in librarianship who simply embrace the foolishness of the customer is always right. You know who I am talking about I am sure. They are the ones who lack any common sense.

I need to first qualify this story. I live in a very RED town, where closings for religious holidays (read Christian) are taken seriously. With that in mind:

Under what has to be a fine example of mofo behavior, the Staff Capo on campus sent an e-mail to the campus announcing the following (names changed to protect the mofos, tempted as I am to expose them):

Dr. Campus Prez is releasing the BRB campus at 1pm today.

Those areas that typically have student contact during the day must keep some presence to handle the possible student request.

By the way, today at 1pm is also the time our Baseball team starts its double header against some out of town wahoos.  Consider going by the ball field and supporting our muy macho team.

Signed

Staff Capo

So, what does this mean to us? Notice that second line. It means that "essential services" have to stay open. Yes, the library is an essential service, but not all the library mind you. Nope. Distribution Services and Reference have to stay. Cataloguers and so on in the back get to go home. Guess who gets to stay here. Yep, you got it. Me.

So, I am just accepting the idea when another little e-mail comes in. Apparently thanks to Staff Capo, people were leaving in droves, and we certainly cannot have this. So, el Provosto Grande send out an e-mail of his own to "clarify" the issue. Again, names changed to suit this blog.

TO:    Faculty and Staff
    Backwater Rural Branch University

FROM:    Dr. Provosto Grande
Big Poobah not quite as big as Dr. Campus Prez 

RE:    Early Closure of Offices Today


I would like to clarify the earlier memorandum that came from Staff Capo today regarding early closure of offices at 1:00 p.m.  This applies only to the offices.  All classes should be held as previously scheduled.  Thank you for your cooperation in this matter.

In other words motherfuckers, you better not be canceling classes to have an early weekend. And that library and the computer lab better be open too. However, everyone in an office, for example, administrators sending the memos and the secretaries who actually type it for them, can go home. Have a nice weekend suckers.

I am having sort of a bit of an ethical problem here. Here at Backwater Rural Branch U. we are  undergoing the Southern Campus Re-Affirmation Process (SCRAP), and we are at the documentation stage. This is where we gather all the documents to prove that we do what we say we do. I think this whole exercise is like the nightmare version of ISO 9000 for academia. The problem is we probably have a few things missing, or there are things that we actually simply do not have given the lack of resources. On the one hand, we can probably slide for the library segment and be found within the standards. On the other hand, if anyone looks deeply, they will probably see the holes. Given the examples of plans we have seen for other campuses, odds may be good we slide ("hey, if they got away with it, so can we" is the mentality). I had to go through this crap when I was back at Bootstrap Metro U., and they did slide through. Boss With a Fist is a bit more supportive, and more than willing to let things show if it means getting some change, but I am thinking even Boss With A Fist's powers may not go that far.

And to the Relic Huntress, she has been complaining a bit much. Yes, hun, we know you are running the small campus archive. We understand it is like a library within a library. And yes, you do have to work in the larger library doing reference and liaison work with the rest of us who also do the work of two other people. Expressing concern and consternation is ok, but your complaining will only get you so much sympathy. Quit it; it is starting to wear thin.

After reading a couple of items on fundraising and academia, I did wonder, well, why not sell everything and get as much funding as we can? Not like the government or the people who elect that government to represent them give a crap about education. So, we may as well fend for ourselves.

First, here are the items I was looking at:

• Michael Bugeja wrote a piece on "Learning to Raise Money--As an Academic Administrator."
  
• Scott Jaschik reported on "Buying a Spot on the syllabus." This was the piece that actually made me wonder and thus led me to this small post here to wonder a moment. What if we did start selling bits and pieces. It reports on Marshall University, where they accepted a gift that requires the teaching of Ayn Rand's Atlas Shrugged.

In the interest of disclosure, I have read Rand's Atlas Shrugged, and I find myself wishing she was alive so I could mug her and demand the hours of my life I lost on that piece of selfish philosophy tripe. For the record, I also read The Fountainhead, which is barely a bit more readable. That's my opinion personally. As a librarian, as the old law says, "every reader their book." Anyways, back to my post.

Let's be honest folks: universities already pretty much sell anything they can. If you have enough money, you can get just about anything on a campus with your name on it. You can even name the conditions under which you will give that money if you have enough of it to get a campus's attention. Do you want a new science building? Plunk down a cool few million, and they stick your name on it along with any specifications you may want. So, maybe saying, "here's a million or so, you can have it, just teach this book" is not that farfetched. I am not saying it is right. I am simply saying the precedent is already there, so I don't really think you can have that much moral outrage. I mean, colleges already pretty much sell their athletic programs to the highest bidders (I believe that's how they are seen as self-sufficient in their funding. A lot of rich alumni take care of it so the school does not have to use state funds, if a public campus). So, does requiring that a novel be taught in the school for a cool million really that radical? Heck no. Campuses all over have already set the precedent.

So, why not then take it a step further. Library lacking funds? Let's make a few offers for naming rights and "special collections" development. If it works for presidential libraries, which are funded by donors (National Archives just manages them. See the law here), it could work for us. We'll do the managing and maintenance; they can provide the funds for putting the stuff up.

I am sure we could take this thought further, but let's leave it here for now. And by the way, as for teaching the Rand book. I believe they said you had to include it, not how to actually teach it. Can you spell subversive children?

This month's topic for the BAM Challenge is "craft." I am going simple with Stephen King's On Writing, the master of horror writing about his own craft. I have had the book sitting on my shelf for a while, so this seems a good time to finally get to it. We'll see how it goes. As a writer who still has a lot to learn, I am looking forward to see what new things I may learn now.

I almost forgot to post my choice for the BAM Challenge in February. The theme was the heart along with love. So, I went very simple with the following:

One Hundred and One Classic Love Poems.

It's simple. It's classic. When it comes to the heart, you can't go wrong with classic love poems ranging from Shakespeare to Shelley to Byron. This was a busy month, so that was another reason to go short. Then again, when it comes to poetry, you often linger a bit more anyways.

These two stories from the Not Always Right blog reminded me why I will probably never get appointed director of any library.

• "Calling her bluff." Because I have no patience for people who, first, do not plan ahead and try to pass it on to you. And second, when they bluster about how they are going to get me fired, I am more than happy to call their bluff on it. I have no tolerance for petty excuses for bullies.
  
• "Stupidity exemplified." Again, no tolerance for stupidity. I guess you really can't fix stupid.
  

My library sadly has to administer the NUTSOEZPOXY list. Campus is known for not updating the student list so they can access databases from off-campus in a timely fashion.  So, we get a bunch of students who did not get into the recent NUTSOEZPOXY load, and we have to add them in. Usually, this is just a matter of the following:

• Check they are using the correct username and password. Since the campus here is not into using a common authentication, the stuff they use for their campus e-mail is not the same thing. They think it is, so reassuring them is not is part of the task. Overall, they have a username and password for just about any campus system. E-mail? One set. Crapboard? Another set. NUTSOEZPOXY? Yet another. So you get the picture.
  
• If the student is on the POXY list, we tell them what the correct username & password is and have a nice day. However, this is rarely the case.
• If the student is not on the POXY list, we then have to verify the student is really a student. In other words, is the person actually enrolled and registered for classes. Librarians do not have access to that part of the system, so we have to go over to distribution services, who can access that part of the system.
  
• If the student is not enrolled, it's game over. You have no access (you are not paying tuition after all). However, they usually check out.
  
• If they are enrolled, we provide them with a temporary password and username, a randomly generated set of characters to hold them over until we add them to the list. Librarians don't do this either, so we have to make a call to the techs to do it.
  
• Student is appeased (usually).

Of course, there are always the exceptions. Like today's grad student mofo. She calls. I answer. Here is the conversation more or less:

GSM (grad student mofo): "Yes, my username and password is not working. I have been working at it for a week." (you can tell she is a bit frustrated. Ok, I can understand).

Me: "Ok, so what did you type in?"

As it turns out, she had called before, gotten the temporary password and username. According to her, it was not working. But keep in mind, she also said she had not tried it until now.

GSM: "Yea, I like e-mailed you guys, and you gave me the temporary password and you told me I would be added to the list. This was three days ago."

So, if the usual is not working,  I have to try to diagnose the problem. It sounds easy enough, right? Well, not to Miss Mofo.

Me: "Okay, could you tell me what library resource you are trying to access?" (I am trying to see if maybe it is a particular database that could be down. It gets ugly from there).

GSM: (a bit more snappy) "I am just trying to access the library webpage."

Me: "Yes, I understand. Was there anything in particular on the library website you were trying to use?"

GSM: (snappy) "Well, I wanted to go into the student account part."

Me: "well, that is different from the databases proxy, so it is not the same password."

Since she claimed to have been working on her paper/project for about a week now, I decided to ask again,

Me: "Ma'am, was there a particular database or resource you were trying to access for your paper?"

GSM (even snappier now): "I have not tried anything yet. It's not working...you told me it would work."

Of course, I am not the elusive "you."

Me: "Yes, I understand, I am just trying to see if it is a particular problem with one of our databases." (If this did not work, I was going to check on firewall as a possible problem, which is common).

GSM (bitchy by now) while I am explaining, she keeps the whine, "will you let finish my sentence?"

Me: eyes wide open, wondering...

Me: "I am just trying to diagnose the problem."

GSM is on bitch overdrive by now. Since she claimed she e-mailed earlier, I recheck the POXY list to see if on the off-chance she did get added. Luckily, she was added, so I gave her the updated information. By the way, did I get any thanks? Fuck no, and I am guessing she will probably send an e-mail to complain to the bosses that be.

So, to you out there who have no manners or think you are prima donnas, the lesson:

When you call a support service, they will ask you questions. Don't be a bitch or an asshole. This is for your good. We are not seated there with you to see what the problem is. Snapping at me for asking you a few extra questions in order to HELP YOU is not going to get you anywhere. In fact, piss me off some more, and I may say something along the lines off, "it appears we are having some database problems, and you need to wait until your next campus visit to use them." In other words, I will swiftly get rid of you because I can't help  you if you refuse to be helped.

Here endeth the lesson.

And from the looks of it, it appears it is mofo week here at old BRB U. On asking around, it seems a couple other callers have been less than pleasant. Apparently that procrastination on school work is beginning to catch  up. Actually, thinking about it, I get the suspicion GSM has not been working on her paper as diligently as she is trying to portray. I mean, when asked, what resource or database have you tried to access, only to get "I am just trying to use the website" with no other qualification does make me suspicious, especially for some grad student.


Crossposted to libpatronssuck and library_mofo