My library sadly has to administer the NUTSOEZPOXY list. Campus is known for not updating the student list so they can access databases from off-campus in a timely fashion. So, we get a bunch of students who did not get into the recent NUTSOEZPOXY load, and we have to add them in. Usually, this is just a matter of the following:
- Check they are using the correct username and password. Since the campus here is not into using a common authentication, the stuff they use for their campus e-mail is not the same thing. They think it is, so reassuring them is not is part of the task. Overall, they have a username and password for just about any campus system. E-mail? One set. Crapboard? Another set. NUTSOEZPOXY? Yet another. So you get the picture.
- If the student is on the POXY list, we tell them what the correct username & password is and have a nice day. However, this is rarely the case.
- If the student is not on the POXY list, we then have to verify the student is really a student. In other words, is the person actually enrolled and registered for classes. Librarians do not have access to that part of the system, so we have to go over to distribution services, who can access that part of the system.
- If the student is not enrolled, it's game over. You have no access (you are not paying tuition after all). However, they usually check out.
- If they are enrolled, we provide them with a temporary password and username, a randomly generated set of characters to hold them over until we add them to the list. Librarians don't do this either, so we have to make a call to the techs to do it.
- Student is appeased (usually).
Of course, there are always the exceptions. Like today's grad student mofo. She calls. I answer. Here is the conversation more or less:
GSM (grad student mofo): "Yes, my username and password is not working. I have been working at it for a week." (you can tell she is a bit frustrated. Ok, I can understand).
Me: "Ok, so what did you type in?"
As it turns out, she had called before, gotten the temporary password and username. According to her, it was not working. But keep in mind, she also said she had not tried it until now.
GSM: "Yea, I like e-mailed you guys, and you gave me the temporary password and you told me I would be added to the list. This was three days ago."
So, if the usual is not working, I have to try to diagnose the problem. It sounds easy enough, right? Well, not to Miss Mofo.
Me: "Okay, could you tell me what library resource you are trying to access?" (I am trying to see if maybe it is a particular database that could be down. It gets ugly from there).
GSM: (a bit more snappy) "I am just trying to access the library webpage."
Me: "Yes, I understand. Was there anything in particular on the library website you were trying to use?"
GSM: (snappy) "Well, I wanted to go into the student account part."
Me: "well, that is different from the databases proxy, so it is not the same password."
Since she claimed to have been working on her paper/project for about a week now, I decided to ask again,
Me: "Ma'am, was there a particular database or resource you were trying to access for your paper?"
GSM (even snappier now): "I have not tried anything yet. It's not working...you told me it would work."
Of course, I am not the elusive "you."
Me: "Yes, I understand, I am just trying to see if it is a particular problem with one of our databases." (If this did not work, I was going to check on firewall as a possible problem, which is common).
GSM (bitchy by now) while I am explaining, she keeps the whine, "will you let finish my sentence?"
Me: eyes wide open, wondering...
Me: "I am just trying to diagnose the problem."
GSM is on bitch overdrive by now. Since she claimed she e-mailed earlier, I recheck the POXY list to see if on the off-chance she did get added. Luckily, she was added, so I gave her the updated information. By the way, did I get any thanks? Fuck no, and I am guessing she will probably send an e-mail to complain to the bosses that be.
So, to you out there who have no manners or think you are prima donnas, the lesson:
When you call a support service, they will ask you questions. Don't be a bitch or an asshole. This is for your good. We are not seated there with you to see what the problem is. Snapping at me for asking you a few extra questions in order to HELP YOU is not going to get you anywhere. In fact, piss me off some more, and I may say something along the lines off, "it appears we are having some database problems, and you need to wait until your next campus visit to use them." In other words, I will swiftly get rid of you because I can't help you if you refuse to be helped.
Here endeth the lesson.
And from the looks of it, it appears it is mofo week here at old BRB U. On asking around, it seems a couple other callers have been less than pleasant. Apparently that procrastination on school work is beginning to catch up. Actually, thinking about it, I get the suspicion GSM has not been working on her paper as diligently as she is trying to portray. I mean, when asked, what resource or database have you tried to access, only to get "I am just trying to use the website" with no other qualification does make me suspicious, especially for some grad student.
Crossposted to
libpatronssuck and
library_mofo